La Dreams (Panic Attack Sequel)

16

   It was time for dinner. I had helped cook while Grayson and Ethan caught up with family and Ari filmed a video for her channel. We all sat down at the table. Of course I was the last one to sit down because I got all the drinks. I ended up sitting in between Lisa and Cameron. Mostly because Sammy sat by Grayson who had sat by Ethan who had sat by Ari. I decided to talk to Cameron because I knew I would cry if I looked at Sammy and Grayson being all cutesy and happy. It really pissed me off. But oh well it's not like anyone cares that much.
   "So where did you grow up?" Cameron asked me politely to start a conversation.
   "North Georgia." I stated simply waiting to here if she had more questions. We ended up talking about sports and friends. What we wanted to do in life and how hot we though Scott Eastwood was. Cameron seemed really nice and even though she was two years older I figured we could be good friends. Apparantly she had a boyfriend that she had been dating for several years named Justin and she loved sports. I was glad in a way that I sat by her so that I could get to know her.
   Once dinner was over I stood up holding some plates and walked to the sink.
   "No honey, you helped cook and your a guest. I can manage the clean up." Lisa said sweetly. I smiled and thanked her before setting the plates down and following Ari to the living room. Cameron invited Justin over and Sammy invited some other boy over and we decided to play truth or dare. We sat in a circle everyone directly across from their boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever they had invited. We had an empty beer bottle in the middle of our circle.
   "I'll go first." Justin said spinning the bottle. It landed on Grayson and he though for a moment.
   "Okay, I dare you to kiss Sam." He said.
   "I didn't pick truth or dare though." Grayson complained to Justin.
   "Well fine I change the game. We're playing dare or dare now." He said looking at Grayson. I raised one eyebrow teasingly and looked at him. He pulled Sammy in and kissed her hard. I wanted so bad to either scream or cry or to punch someone or throw something, but I didn't.  I stood up and excised myself saying that I needed to go film a video. No one cared again and I walked to the guest bedroom. I closed the door and grabbed a razor, some cookies, and a toothbrush before walking to the bathroom. I sat in front of the toilet and ate the cookies. I then shoved the toothbrush down my throat and vomited up everything I had eaten and had not yet digested. I flushed and then grabbed my razor. I pulled it apart with my bare hand not caring that it was cutting into my fingers. I didn't flinch and I didn't cry.
   "She cuts her woes away cause cover girls don't cry after their face is made." I whispered softly ad I held the blade to my stomach where the cuts wouldn't be noticed. With a straight face I cut. I pulled the blade deeper as I slid it across my stomach.
   "1 for being not enough." Cut
   "1 for being fat." Cut
   "1 for being ugly." Cut
   "1 for Grayson." Cut
   "2. 1 for mom and 1 for dad." Cut. Cut.
   "1 for Ethan." Cut.
   "3 for Ari." Cut. Cut. Cut
   "7 off all 7.8 billion people in the world." Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
   All 17 cuts bled and I let them. I sat there bleeding when the door opened. I looked up and through my tears I saw the guy Sammy had invited. It was Jackson I realized. I then let the tears fall.
   "Kylee." He said taking the razor. He flushed it down the toilet and pulled me into his arms. He picked me up and set me on the counter grabbing a rag. He wet it and held it to my stomach.
   "Why?" He asked quietly kissing my temple. I just whispered and squeezed his arm from the pain. He sighed and looked at me.
   "This is gonna hurt like hell." He said and I grabbed his arm ready to squeeze. He dumped some hydrogen peroxide on my stomach and I bit my lip a sound not escaping me. He kissed me on the cheek and I loosened my grip.
   "I'm keeping a close eye on you." He said looking in my eyes. I nodded and be put some antibiotic cream on my stomach before pulling my shirt back down. I looked at his shirt. Soaked in my blood and torn in a place on the arm from me. He looked down at it then just pulled it off and set it on the counter. He picked me up and carried me to the guest bedroom and layed me on the bed.
   "Is everything okay?" Lisa asked opening the door concerned.
   "Yes Ma'am." Jackson said. "She just doesn't feel to well." Lisa nodded and walked out and Jackson pulled the covers over me and sat on the edge of the bed.
   "Why did you do it again?" He asked me quietly and I could tell he was sad.
   "Because. I know Grayson likes Sammy even though she's his ex. I feel like a screw up. I'm tired of living. I hate everything and how I've messed it up." I said tears threatening to escape.
   "No Kylee. I moved here to get my mind off you, ok. I missed you so much that I couldn't take it so I moved here. I met Sammy and took her on a few dates. I thought there was something there. After seeing her with Grayson though I know there's nothing there. I think that Grayson loves you and if he doesn't then that bastard is screwed up. I saw you and I realized I can't get over you. I missed you Kyle's and seeing you like this makes me realize that I can't leave you. I love you way to much. Don't ever leave." He said. I smiled weakly and hugged him. "Get some rest." He finished pulling away. I nodded and layed down.
   I was almost asleep when I heard the door open.
   "What happened?" Grayson asked "my mom said she wasn't feeling good."
   "17" Jackson whispered and I felt him stand.
   "What?" Grayson asked clearly confused.
   "She cut her stomach 17 times because of you and Sammy. She doesn't want to lose you to her and I don't want her to lose you either. She thinks you are going to leave her for Sammy." Jackson said and I could here his footsteps towards Grayson.
   "I really screwed up this time." I head Grayson say followed by crying. What am I supposed to do now? It's gonna hurt like hell to lose him but it's gonna be hard to forget what has happened.

A/N
Boom! Your girl is back. Sorry I didn't update yesterday but that's the reason for this long update. Any who. Bye!