I Know in My Heart It's Not You

When the Girl with Flaming Orange Hair Met the Boy Covered in Ink

March 1, 2008

Alone.

Hayley just wanted to be alone because she was overwhelmed by all of the chaotic and exhausting events that had happened in the past few months. Even though it was cold outside and the guys were probably worried about where she could be, she didn't want to move from where she was sitting. She was on the sidewalk in downtown Franklin and her eyes closed as she let the cool wind blow against her face. It was relaxing to her and she took a few deep breaths to help calm herself even more.

Her eyes were still shut as she listened to the sounds of footsteps hitting the pavement and various voices of strangers chatting with each other on the streets. She finally opened her eyes and observed her surroundings, noticing that some people were staring at her. Probably wondering why this girl was sitting on a busy sidewalk all by herself. At seeing these people and seeing where she was, her relaxed state slowly faded away as she realized that she was still in this town when she wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place.

She wasn't supposed to be in her hometown, she wasn't supposed to be filming some music video, and she wasn't supposed to be on the streets biting her nails in fear that the fate of the band wasn't going to last very long. She was supposed to be touring in Europe for all those fans that had waited for months to see Paramore perform. All those fans that scraped money to purchase their tickets and begged their parents to let them go. They worked extra hours at their part-time jobs to earn enough cash to buy at least one t-shirt from the merch booth and some of them had even planned to skip school and avoid some test they didn't study for. All for a show that wasn't even going to happen anymore.

She let her fans down.

At first, it was only just one show. Then it turned to two shows, and soon the rest of their European tour was canceled altogether and they simply told their fans that their reasons for doing this was to deal with "personal issues". To say that was an understatement and she couldn't help but blame herself for causing things to go downhill.

Just a year ago, she felt like the band was on top of the world. They had released their newest album and were gaining more fans, inspiring so many people. She was living her dream and the band was her second family. It was almost like they were unstoppable and that they would get through anything because they were doing what they've always wanted to do and life was great. Of course, nothing made her happier than the fact that she enjoyed all of this while in the arms of Josh Farro. Her best friend, her guitarist, and her boyfriend. Everything just seemed so perfect.

But good things never last. As the band became well known throughout the United States and other countries in the world, the media decided to focus more on Hayley and make the guys almost nonexistent. The first person to call this out was Josh and because he usually responds to things so emotionally and doesn't think of how his words can get out of hand, Hayley didn't respond so well either. Zac, Taylor, and Jeremy tried to mediate, but then they also ended up arguing and it went from bad to worse. It also wasn't just the issues regarding the media. Josh and Hayley were no longer together and Hayley was actually the one who decided to end the relationship.

She thought it wasn't healthy for her to be with him and she also didn't want it to affect the band. Hayley and Josh haven't been the same in months and it was obvious that their relationship was fractured at the moment, even if they agreed to stay friends for the sake of the band. Unfortunately for her, it ended up affecting the band anyway and things just started to fall apart. All because of her and she wished things didn't end up the way they did. They weren't as indestructible as they thought they were. It was more accurate to say that they were hanging by a thread and it had gotten to the point where everyone could agree with this.