This Is Us || Niall Horan fanfic

Chapter 26: Depression & Sadness

(I'm gonna speed up a little bit (sorry!) I'm just catching up!)

(sorry for any mistakes)

~~Date in the story: November 20, 2013~~

Samantha's P.O.V

"Mommy! Daddy! Look! Princess Aurora and Prince Phillip!" Sarah said while jumping and dragging us to them "Yes dear, we'll take a picture with them" Niall said and laughed. We went to Princess Aurora and Prince Phillip and we took a picture with them. We looked at the picture "I love them so much! I wish I can be a princess someday" Sarah said "You're already our princess, Sarah" I said "Really mommy?" Sarah asked "Of course!" Niall said and she hugged us. 

"Good thing we're here at Disneyland. Sarah hasn't been this so happy before"  I said and giggled while looking at Sarah acting to be a princess "Yeah I know. I remember when you were 19 and I was 20 and you told me that when you were little you acted like a princess" Niall said and laughed "I didn't tell you that!" I said and slapped his arm lightly and playfully "Yes you did" Niall said "Oh yeah. I forgot" I said and we laughed. We just looked at Sarah and I kept smiling while Niall was taking pictures of Sarah "I'm just so happy that we had a wonderful daughter" I said and smiled wide "I know" Niall whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.

I quickly woke up and opened my eyes. I thought it was real! It was just a dream.*sigh*

I looked at the clock and saw it was 3:42am. I sat up from the bed and remembered my dream. It's one of my best dreams. I miss him so much. I just can't move on. 

I ran my hands through my hair and slowly tears were falling from my eyes already. "Why did I even break up with him? I know that he done something bad but I wish I'd listen to his explanation" I said to myself and cried "This is all my fault" I said to myself. Skippy woke up (maybe because of my crying). "I blame myself for everything" I said and cried more and more. 

I walked to the bathroom and Skippy was following me. I looked at myself in the mirror "I'm so ugly" I said and looked at myself. Suddenly, a razor caught my eye. No no no I shouldn't be doing this. I don't want to do this. I took the razor and looked at it for a little while. Should I cut? Should I? Am I not worth that much? I just can't answer myself. Should I cut or not? I looked at the mirror again "I think I should but i'll do it a little cut only" I said to myself and slowly cut.

When I was cutting, it hurt at first but after it, I felt a little fine I guess. After I cut, I was breathing heavily but slowly at the same time. I was nervous. I looked at the cut and I was fine. The cut was on my wrist. Now I need to wear long sleeved shirts because they will see my cut. 

I took a deep breath and took my phone and took a picture of my cut. I think I should post it on Twitter but it would just make a big problem.

I went back to bed with Skippy. Before I sleep, I looked at the clock and saw it was 4:05am. I need to sleep.

Niall's P.O.V

I start to blink my eyes repeatedly and saw the sun. I looked at the clock and saw it was 11:30am! 30 more minutes and it's already lunch time. I tried to recall my dream and my dream was about me and Sam. I just can't get her away off my mind. She's always in my heart and mind. I miss her so so so much. I wish that didn't just happen. I wonder she is doing now?

I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I went downstairs and went to the kitchen. I cooked Fajitas just for me. I sat down the table and ate my lunch. I looked at the empty seat in front of me and I remember that morning before the break up. Sam was there eating, talking and laughing with me. But now I'm all alone. A tear rolled from my eyes. I just want to go to that moment where we broke up and fix it so things would be fine.