Look Around, Look Around

Chapter 12 ~ I Love The Way

Warnings: homophobic/homophobic language

John fumbled with his tie for what seemed like the hundredth time. Alexander knocked on his door and came in. "How're you doing?" Alexander asked, concerned.

John shrugged. "I'm nervous and I have no idea how this is supposed to work. I don't exactly have a girlfriend, Alex!" John snapped. He covered his mouth. "I'm sorry, i'msorryi'msorry-"

Alex cut him off, "hey, shh, it's okay I know you're under a lot of pressure." He said, hugging his boyfriend.

John nodded and sighed. "Please just tell me how this is going to work."

Alexander nodded. "Eliza!" He called, and in walked Eliza Schuyler.

"Hello," she said, waving politely.

"Eliza this is John, John, this is Eliza." Alexander said. They both awkwardly stared at each other. Though John and Eliza had classes together, they'd never properly met.

"Now, Eliza here is always willing to help a friend." Alex began. Eliza nodded, "and Eliza is going to pretend to be your girlfriend to your father." Eliza nodded and smiled.

John raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but we just met." He said.

Eliza nodded. "That's true, but i'm sure we can pretend for an hour or two." She said. John nodded.

"So, shall we?" Alexander asked.

"Wait, you're coming?" John asked.

Alexander shrugged. "Yeah i'm gonna sit a few tables away and try to finish some homework." He said, grabbing his laptop.

John shrugged. "Okay, let's go."

***

Maria finished cooking dinner just as she heard a knock on the door. "One second." She called. Maria wiped her hands off and fumbled with her hair and outfit before running to the door and opening it.

"Hey Pegs." Maria said, smiling.

Peggy flushed. "Hey Maria." She said, hugging her.

Peggy followed Maria into the kitchen. There was a small table that Maria had the food placed on, complete with a candle in the middle. Even the lights were dimmed because Maria had thought of everything.

She pulled a chair out for Peggy and sat down across from her. Peggy flushed. "This is so fancy." She remarked.

Maria flashed her a smile. "Only the best for you, babe." Peggy flushed again.

"Oh my gosh, I love spaghetti!" Peggy said when Maria piled it onto her plate.

Maria giggled. "I know, that's why I made it." She said, giving Peggy a peck on the cheek.

Peggy blushed. "Thank you." Maria just nodded.

They ate dinner and chatted quietly about this and that. Once they finished Maria picked up the plates and set them on the counter. "We can go watch a movie, or listen to music if you'd like." Maria asked. Peggy nodded and followed her to their bedroom.

They decided on listening to music. Maria had a few albums she wanted to show Peggy, and Peggy loved music. Maria handed her an earbud and began playing A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Panic! At The Disco, her favorite album. Maria sang it quietly as Peggy listening to the new music. It was quiet for the first few songs until Peggy broke the silence, "I love hearing you sing." She said.

Maria blushed. "Oh sorry, I kinda do it without realizing."

Peggy sat up. "No, no, don't apologize you're really good you have a beautiful voice." She said.

Maria blushed. "Aw, thank you." She said. Peggy smiled and nodded, laying back down.

A few more songs went by and Peggy yawned and laid on her side, facing Maria. She was on her phone, facing the ceiling. She turned her phone off and looked at Peggy.

Maria sat up and leaned down to kiss Peggy. It was quick, as Maria was still nervous around her, but it was perfect to Peggy. She blushed and sat up herself. Peggy leaned in, nervously, and kissed Maria again. Maria blushed and kissed her back.

Both girl blushed and smiled. They were love struck. Maria pulled Peggy back down with her and Peggy cuddled up to her side. Maria wrapped an arm around her and smiled.

***

John sat quietly on the drive back to his dorm room. He was in the back with Alexander since Eliza had offered to drive. It was obvious he wasn't okay, but if he started to talk about it now he would cry and boys don't cry, like his father said. Alexander had tried holding his hand but it didn't work, as John just tugged it away and crossed his arms. Alexander sighed and gave up. John just tried to ignore him. He'd talk to him later, in private.

Eliza pulled into a parking spot and the three of them got out of Alex's car. John stormed off instantly. Alexander sighed. "Thank you, Eliza. He's just dealing with a lot right now." Alexander explained. Eliza nodded and said goodbye, before walking to her dorm she shared with her sisters. Alexander sat outside in the late fall air, freezing, before finally walking into the dorm room.

Alexander heard sobbing coming from John's room. He wasted no time tugging off his coat and shoes and running into John's room. John faced the wall, his knees up to his chest. He sniffled, "Just..leave me alone..." He mumbled.

"No, John, come on, talk to me." Alexander said, sitting beside him.

John's eyes were red and puffy, and he had tears rolling down his face. Alex wiped them away and John didn't put up a fight. He took a breath, trying to calm himself, which didn't work well  "HesaidhewashappyIwasdonebeingafagandfinallyfoundagirlandthenhemadefunofhowIactedinhighschool." John sobbed. Alexander, who often talked quickly, understood the jumble of words that came out of his mouth, and hugged him.

"Hey, John, baby, it's okay." Alexander said, rubbing his back as he hugged him.

John continued to cry into his shoulder. "Sometimes I just wonder if he's right and I just feel gross and I hate myself. I'm sorry." John said, sobbing more.

Alexander shook his head. "It's okay, it's okay, you're not gross, you're not wrong. Your feelings are totally okay, I promise." Alex reassured.

John nodded. Alex pulled John away so he could look to him. Alex wiped away the remaining tears and kissed him. And Alex kissed him hard, trying to take away all of his pain and hurt. Trying so hard to make sure John knew how much he loved him. Alexander pulled away after a moment.

John flushed and smiled. "Thank you."