What will we become? (Kellic Fanfiction)

Hold Me Forever

Kellin’s POV

I stare into the mirror. The reflection is not someone I recognize.

His eyes are sunken in and rimmed with tears, his hair is damp along with his clothes suggesting that he was out in the rain. Do I really look like that? “What have I become? How could I do this to me and Vic?” he says.

I turn around and scream. My body is laying in the bathtub with the shower running over me. As I examine further see the red stains hanging out of the other side. I did it didn’t I? I finally accomplished it. I never thought I would have the guts to do it.

A new kind of peace washes over me. I’m ready. Ready for whatever is to come.

I walk around the other side of the tub and put my wrists in the tub at my sides. I turn the water off and sit on the floor next to me. I can’t believe how peaceful I look. Well what’s going to happen now?

A door opens with panic down the hall. “Kellin…Kellin please I’m sorry! Where are you?”

Vic? What is he doing here? No he can’t see me like this. I try to pull on my body but my hands just keep going through me.

He bursts through the bathroom door. “Kellin…No! No! Kellin baby please be okay” He starts to cry as he runs over to my body.

“Kellin! I’m so sorry!” He’s crying uncontrollably now gasping for air. “I wanted to be here I didn’t know you were this bad when I left. God I’m so fucking stupid this is all my fault” Vic grabs my hand and hold it tightly kissing it.

He’s been holding my hand and sobbing for an hour now not moving, just staring at my body. Was he this affected by me? Why does he care so much? I want to speak and hold him and tell him it’s going to be okay.

I move from my spot and go closer to him. Just as I do he gets up and looks around the room.

“What are you looking for Vic?” I say thinking he can hear me.

His eyes stop at the blades under the tub. He picks them up cleans them off and sits by the tub with his back to my body.

“Kellin it’s all my fault I didn’t mean to do this to you. I don’t deserve to live and I sure as hell can’t live without you.” He slits his wrists and leans to the tub. “I love you Kellin.”

“Vic! No it’s not your fault don’t. Vic! Please no!” I scream but no answer.

Everything goes black and I feel all sweaty. I open my eyes and realize it was just a nightmare. A recurring dream I’ve been having for a month since Vic left for Mexico. It sucks not having him here. We only have 3 weeks left until Senior year. And I want to spend them with him.

Vic and I have been hanging out a lot since the first time we met. Most of them were his late night sneaking into my room. No we didn’t do the dirty deed. I’m not ready. We just stay up and watch movies or listen to music or talk about things. I feel like he has told me everything about him. He has a younger brother Mike who I realized I knew. Not personally of course just see him in the hallways he’s Mr. Popular. He actually even looks older. Vic also likes to write music but he never believes that it’s good enough. He won’t show me but I bet it’s great.

I don’t tell him much for two reasons. I’m not ready and there isn’t much to me. I’m plain and simple old Kellin Quinn. A psychotic depressed suicidal Kellin. Vic doesn’t need to know that about me.

He’s coming home today and he made me promise to make him my famous Quinn burger. I honestly think that my burger is the basis of our friendship.