All the Things I've Never Said...

The Beginning

I met him middle of my 8th grade year at Ogden middle school in Oregon City, Oregon. But before I met Nita I met my best friend and sister at heart: Trysta.

She was in my 8th period science class. We were watching a documentary on who knows what( I don't remember what it was about because I didn't care in the first place). I knew her from being on dance team with me in the past but we were never close. I asked her for her snapchat and we started talking and hanging out more. We soon became as close as was possible. We told and still do tell each other everything.

When we had first started talking one of the first few conversations we had was, obviously, about boys. We found out we both liked the same guy. Dametrius.

Dametrius is your classic badboy/fuckboy who can be an amazing friend but an absolute shitty boyfriend. He's the guy who knows just how to get under your skin when needed but will protect you if you are is friend. Oh and also he's a sociopath.

Anyways. When I found out she liked him, we were at an odds. She was closer to him then I was so she asked if he liked or would ever date me. He said no. That had happened with every guy I'd liked previously so it stung but I brushed it off. It was time to do some mach making. So, I of course encouraged her to go after him. I got closer to him and found that he had feelings for her and I put to work.

As Trysta and I grew closer I started hanging with her at lunch, and low and behold we hung out with Dametrius.

Our lunch period was 30 minutes. We had 15 minutes to eat and then if we wanted we could go outside or to they library or whatever. One of the Teachers, Mr. Brown, would always have a soccer ball we could go get. So everyday Trysta and I would eat, then go outside and wait by the woodshop doors for Mr. Brown to give us the soccer ball.( I love and play soccer, so does Dametrius)

Dametrius would wait for the ball as well, a kid he knew and was sort of "friends" with was a black haired brown eyed boy who's eyes changed with the light and his mood. I didn't know the guy. I didn't have any classes with him. But I'd seen him in the halls before. I didn't know his name I only knew him by the name Dametrius called him: Nita.

This is how it went everyday. Trysta and I would eat together, and we'd go out and wait for the ball with Dametrius and Nita. Then we'd go to the same spot and the boys and I would kick it around while Trysta watched and laughed an her and Dametrius flirted, and we would all tease each other. But it was more like the boys showed off there tricks and I would try and take the ball and keep it away from them when I could. Eventually I even realized Nita was in my P.E class with Dametrius.

Everyday this was a constant at lunch, other ppl would join and leave and join again. But that main group of four was always the same. There was always something different about Nita to me, who's name I eventually learned was Chris. There had been times I had thought I found myself attracted to him even though he wasn't the most handsome man I'd met. But then I would quickly realize it wasn't the case and that he was just a good friend. Not a close one, but a good one.

The rest of the school year went on the same...things changed for me and Trysta, problems arose and our minds grew darker. But we stayed as close as ever and Nita was never the wiser. Towards the end of the year there was an incident at lunch(I will get into that later) which in turn I now realize caused my downward spiral. I began to cut, and the suicidal notions I'd had my whole life that I never before had paid attention to became more frequent and more real. When school ended and Trysta moved to Beaverton it lead to the craziest and worst summer of my life.