Tuesday September 6th 2016 was my first day of high school. Well it was freshman orientation. I was completely alone. It was a half day and I had no one to talk to. I survived the day with only my headphones blaring and a fake smile. Lunch was the worst. I sat at a table in the middle of the commons alone. Surrounded by friend groups from the year before...when my only friend (Trysta) had moved to Beaverton with her Dad. I spent the whole day alone and want home crying and fell asleep with new scars and tear-stained eyes.
The next day was no better. I got through my classes with headphones and a hood up. Lunch was no different I sat at a table and ate alone. After I finished my anxiety was so bad I felt like everyone was watching me so I moved to the a wall on one side of the commons and opened a book with my headphones in. I was nearly about to start crying when a boy with black hair and brown eyes that changed in the light and with his mood sat down next to me and began talking to me. Nita made my first day of classes just the tiniest bit brighter, and even though I didn't see it at the time it was the start of something bigger.
The next day was the same, Nita found me eating and started a conversation. Same with the day after that, and the day after that. Eventually I just started sitting with him and we would talk about everything. I told him about my depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, Boy problems, everything. He became my closest and only friend at OCHS (he still is), and he would try and help me anyway he could. I have more friends now. But none as close as Nita and Trysta, and Trysta's boyfriend at the time Tauren. Who I've become very close friends with.
I would still have periods of confusion on my feelings for Nita, but just l like before I would quickly push it off as he was my best friend. I didn't like him like that right? Wrong. At one point I was having a very big struggle with my feelings, and Tauren and Trysta we're beginning to believe that I was in denial of my feelings because of all the times I'd been hurt in the past. I became very suicidal because of personal things going on...And one day it became to much. Because of what happened that day, I was able to realize I'd fallen in love with my best friend.
YOU ARE READING
All the Things I've Never Said...
RomanceShe never could tell him how she felt....so she wrote it all down. She wrote down the stories and the adventures they've had, and the thoughts and things she's never had the courage to say. Her heart lies in these pages...these pages are the only th...
