Mortality

Chapter 25: Zarah

April 5th

It’s been four days and I haven’t heard anything from Liam. I wonder constantly what could be keeping him, and I’m about ready to claw my own eyes out. This is driving me crazy. Literally crazy. Maybe he’s taking this long because he found something we can use. They would just tell him if nothing had changed, if there was no hope. Right? He’ll be back by tonight. He has to be.

That dread in the pit of my stomach grows by the hour. It’s been over a week since I was bitten, and I doubt I have much time left. I’ve heard of some people taking as long as three weeks to turn, but they must have had something to distract themselves, or at least something to look at besides pale green walls and prints of African wildlife. Why the hell did we pick this house anyways?

Each footstep taps lightly on the linoleum floor as I retrace my path across the kitchen again and again. I’m hungry, and that thought scares me more than anything. I ate the last of our food last night. I was asleep for around nine hours, so it hasn’t actually been that long since I’ve eaten, but my hunger is so much more than anything I’ve ever experienced, both an ache and a burn at once. My agitation grows with each passing minute. I need to eat, and a growing part of me doesn’t care what.

I steel myself against the fact that I’m going to have to go find food on my own. It’s been months since I’ve done anything on my own. Liam has always looked out for me.

I’m not even sure where to look. The only answer is to look everywhere. There has to be something.

There’s a pad of paper sitting on the kitchen table, but I have to search four different rooms before I find a pen. Scribbling a quick note for Liam, I jot down where I’m going and promise to be back by the time it’s dark. He’ll be so proud of me when I come back with enough food to last the both of us a few more days.

As I press my lips to the paper, a memory of Liam holding me while I cried over the loss of my parents floats into my mind. Hopefully I’ll see him tonight. There’s no room left in my heart to miss anyone else. I leave the note sitting on the kitchen table in a spot where it would be impossible to miss.

Throwing a sweater on as I go out the door, I rub my arms trying to warm up. Spring is here, but I’m so chilled all the time. Briefly, I contemplate that I might be coming down with something.

Of course I’m coming down with something. I’m embarrassed at my own stupidity sometimes.

I spend the day searching each house on the block for something to eat. More than once I find myself looking for anything to eat but push the thought out of my mind. I need food, that’s all.

In what has to be the thirtieth house of the day, I find a small bag of children’s fruit-gummies under a bed. Ripping into the package, I shove them all in my mouth at once, groaning with pleasure as the flavor slips down my throat. This is wonderful.

I consider running my tongue along the inside of the package, but I resist and put it back under the bed exactly where I found it. I fold my legs under my body and sit still on the floor for a few minutes, waiting for the hunger to subside even a little.

Any progress would be a huge success, but it never comes. If it’s possible, the snack only serves to grow the hunger.

Jerking to my feet, hunger washes over me and I stumble, knocking my hip into the pink bedside table. I watch as the tiny reading lamp teeters from side to side. When it steadies itself, I find myself strangely disappointed.

I pick the lamp up and roll it between my palms almost rhythmically. The power cord pops out of the outlet. The pop triggers something deep within me, and I throw the lamp with all the strength my weak body can manage. It hits the wall with a satisfying bang before breaking into three jagged pieces. Somehow, the noise eases the tension in my shoulders. Better, but no less hungry.