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I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

[Not edited]
[Menma Uchiha's pov]

Oh Christmas gifts, oh Christmas gifts, oh how I love you Christmas gifts! I sang happily to myself as I wiggled around in my warm racecar shaped bed. It was Christmas Eve night and I couldn't sit still for a single second. My dads sent me to bed early at 8:30 sharp! But it was already 11:48 and I still laid bright awake. My skin tingled with excitement and my every sense was alert! 

I made sure to put out an extra cookie for the big man (aka, Santa Claus)! Instead of four (like my dads said would be enough), I put five! With an extra large mug of cold, refreshing milk. It must be hard traveling the world in one night! And Santa does it out of the kindness of his heart (and maybe for all the cookies...). I made sure to be extra good this year because my list was longer than usual. This year I included stuff I thought my dads would want!

I remembered how (1)daddy, Naruto, would always try hard to make his bright messy hair stay put. He told me his hair was like a wild lion, an untamable beast! I laughed at him because he did look like a lion! I wasn't sure what "untamable" meant, but it sounded weird, so I guess he also looked like that. Daddy would always cry out in agony as he combed  and untangled his hair. Because of all the pain I see him in (poor daddy!) I asked Santa Claus for a razor! That way he could end his own misery and shave off all his hair! (Although I would miss how fluffy and bright it was.)

For (2)dad, or Sasuke, I remembered how him and daddy sometimes fought, and daddy would yell, "It's not my fault you have a stick up your ass!" Then dad would be real quite, almost like admitting defeat! So for Christmas, I asked Santa for a doctor's appointment! That way the doctor could get the stick out of my dad's ass! I can tell it's a very sensitive issue for him. Then maybe, daddy won't make him admit defeat so easily.

I didn't only ask for my own gifts! I obviously want daddy and dad to be happy too! That's why this Christmas I had to get everything! Every single thing had to be perfect for Santa Claus! If he only got four cookies, then maybe he'd think I was greedy, and he'd give me coal (that was the worse case scenario)! I couldn't keep my little (adorable) blue eyes shut, I simply had to see if Santa left everything! 

But I had to be extra sneaky if I don't wanna get caught! By Santa Claus or my dads!

I gently slid off of my bed and onto the cold wooden ground. My ninja footie pajamas kept me warm enough, so I didn't have to risk taking my blanket (I could trip on it, I'm pretty clumsy). I took a minute to cheer in victory for making in on the floor, then proceeded to get on my hands and knees. I was gonna do this baby style! I'm crawling all the way to the Christmas tree! That way, if Santa does hear me, he'll just think I'm a cute dog! I'm pretty smart, huh? I got that from daddy!

I sneakily crawled down the hall (that was surprisingly clean, go dads!). I was so close! Only a few more inches of deadly slow crawling, then I'd be free (kinda)! 

But when I got there, I had no clue what to think.

I saw my Christmas tree (which, by the way, is fabulous), and I also saw Santa Claus. I expected that (well kind of, I mean, I saw Santa Claus), what I didn't expect to see was my dad! My own dad, with his unmistakable duck butt shaped hair, stood in all his lying glory, right beside Santa! He didn't only stand, oh no, that would of been fine, he kissed Santa Claus! 

That's right, my young and happily married dad, was kissing old fat Santa Claus! What was he thinking! I almost couldn't believe it! Then my eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw him reach to squeeze Santa's butt! That was just plain gross. Why Santa? Was he desperate? Whatever the reason was, my eight-year-old mind didn't wanna know it! There was no excuse to kiss anyone that wasn't daddy. This was a violation against the marriage contract! This was illegal! Right?