Just like Starting Over (John Lennon fanfiction)

Chapter 1

1968

I had known John for 3 three years, we had been through thick and thin, we were best friends, but I've never seen him this upset. Cynthia had just died, she had cancer it was just John & Julian now, John was spending a lot of time at my apartment because he couldn't be at Kenwood. The funeral was today at five, I knew it was going to be tough and of course it was.

A lot of people came, there were so many people of course Cyn touched so many. Around 8 everyone started to leave the only ones that stayed were the other Beatles and their partners. First Ringo and Mo left because of the kids, then George and Pattie, at 9 it was just us with Paul and Jane. Julian was starting to fall asleep on my lap, John just sat there staring at the coffin completely oblivious to anything. Paul was first to speak up, "John, do ya want us to take Jules home?"

John nodded and I pulled Paul over to whisper in his ear, "Could you stay at my place for a while?" Paul nodded and he picked up Julian to walk out of the funeral home with Jane.

After awhile John stood up and walked over to the casket, he just stood there. I walked over to him and held his hand; then John turned and embraced me.

Tears were streaming out of his eyes as he held on to me with such a grip I could barely breathe. I started to sit on the floor pulling John down with me, we sat there on the with John sobbing on my shoulder repeatedly mumbling, "Cyn...Cyn..." I rocked him back and forth crying myself, for the loss of my dear friend.

John told me to go back home, he wanted to walk around for awhile, so I took a taxi back. I got home and changed to something more comfortable so I could turn on the tv. Soon I heard a little voice, "Izzy?" Julian was standing in the door way with his teddy bear under his arm.

"What's up Jules?" I muted the tv and he sat down on the couch next to me.

"I miss mummy." he mumbled.

I nodded, "I do too, but you'll see her again someday.''

"Where's daddy?" he started to look around.

''He went on a walk." I explained, Julian nestled into my side and soon fell asleep.

John came back very late, and he smelled of alcohol. "John, did you go to a bar?" I whispered.

He shook his head, "Nah." he slurred.

I picked up Jules and put him in his bed, then dragged John to bed. "Izzy, can you stay with me?" John whined. I shook my head, "I can't." "Why not?" He pouted. I laughed, "Fine." I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up around John and me.

We both laid on our backs looking at the ceiling, the only noise was the clock ticking; it stayed like that for awhile. Then I heard the wood creaking near me and I rolled over towards the door, there was Julian holding his stuffed bear under his arm.

"What's up kiddo?'' I whispered not aware if John was asleep or not. "Can I sleep with you and Daddy?'' he whispered. I nodded, he crawled over me and laid down between us.

Julian fell asleep almost on top of me and John wrapped his arm around my waist and nestled into me. Soon we all fell asleep and didn't wake up till the late morning.

I woke up, gently sliding out from the grips of the Lennons. I decided to make breakfast for the boys. After looking around the cupboards I realized I really needed to go shopping for food. So after a quick shower I grabbed my coat and keys, quietly closing the door behind me. When I returned everyone was still asleep even my dog, I peaked in the room and Ruby was curled up at the foot of the bed.

John and Julian shuffled their way in to the kitchen once the pancakes hit the plate. "Perfect timing boys, you like pancakes Julian?" he nodded quickly, "Good! Here you go!" I placed the plate in front of Jules, his eyes got big and wide while he grabbed his fork.

"Izzy mind talking to me over there?" John asked nodding over to the living room. I put the pan in the sink and followed John. He sat down on the couch with his breakfast.

"You know, we're burying Cyn today and um mind watching Julian afterwards again?" I looked at John, "Of course, you two are staying here but you better not go drinking again." he looked down at the floor, "Alright fine. Thanks love." he stood up, kissing me on the forehead before re entering the kitchen. "C'mon Jules, lets get you dressed in your suit." John took his little hand and led him into his room.

We all arrived at the cemetery in John's car, I carried Julian as we walked up the hill where the minister and the other Beatles were standing. Ringo and Maureen were there with their children and George and Paul were with their partners. I pulled Paul aside, "John wants to go off and do something by himself after this, he did that last night and came home drunk--" Paul interrupted, "You want me to go with him?" "I nodded, "Please!"

"Its no problem." He gave me a quick hug before we walked back up to the bigger crowd surrounding the casket.

After the service Paul went over to John while I talked to Pattie, I watched over her shoulder. "Something interesting happening behind me?" she giggled. I smiled, "Well last night John went for a walk and came home drunk, I wanted Paul to maybe keep him from drinking again since John wants to go off again after this." Pattie sighed, "Its really sad." I nodded, "It is, but it looks like my plan is working." I mouthed a simple "thank you" to Paul while he smiled, walking off with his friend.

I went home with some of the girls, cooked dinner for Jules, said goodnight to Maureen and her children, and then settled down with Pattie and Jane while Julian slept in his bed. "How has John been taking this so far?" Jane asked. I ran my hand through my hair, "Not well and I'm worried how this will end up." I wasn't lying, I was worried for John. I knew under my watch he wasn't going to become an addict.

I promised Cynthia.

A/N: Please vote and comment, I hope you all enjoy this. ❤