Just like Starting Over (John Lennon fanfiction)

Chapter 6

The next morning, I still had a weird feeling in my stomach about the whole thing. I still felt guilty, John didn't seem upset at all. Early that next morning I snuck out of the house.

Driving down the road I pulled into a parking lot of a little Church hidden away in the hills. Wrapping my coat around myself, I walked up to the doors. Mass had just ended, no one was there. Sighing, I took a seat by the back. Looking up at the Crucifix, I folded my hands on my lap.

"I'm not really sure why I'm here, I know it's been awhile. I'm just confused, God I'm really confused. I'm sure You saw what happened, You know everything. I feel bad, like John cheated on Cyn. It felt right though, us being together seemed right. But I also felt like it was wrong, but deep down it felt right. I don't know God, there's too much going on. Please just help me, I just want to know what to do. Please, please, please, help me. Help us actually, help John and Jules. Help Paul, George, Ritchie, Jane, Maureen, Pattie, and just everyone. Take care of Cynthia please, I know You will."

I hadn't noticed tears were sliding down my cheeks, this was the first time I cried in I don't know how long. Exhaling slowly, I wiped the tears away before standing up and walking out of the Church. Getting into the car, a sudden relief passed through my body. Was this the sign I was looking for? Maybe it was but either way I felt better.

Closing the front door softly, I hung my coat on the hook by the door. The boys were still asleep so I decided to make them breakfast, cooking would give me more time to clear my head. Cracking the eggs into a bowl I started to whisk them until they were scrambled enough. Maybe John and I were supposed to be together, everything happens for a reason doesn't it? I almost didn't notice the eggs were still cooking in the pan while I was heavy in thought.

"Shit!" Using the spatula I put the eggs on the plates, then started on the toast and coffee. Eventually a door creaked open and I heard the sound of little feet on hardwood. Emerging in the doorway was Julian with his stuffed bear tucked under his arm, he rubbed his eyes with his balled up fist. "Mmmhmm that smells good."

I smiled, "Well take a seat, its all ready for you!" Julian happily sat down, placing his bear on the chair next to him. "Orange juice or milk?" I put the plate down in front of the little boy. "Milk please!" His eyes went wide at the sight of all the yellow fluffy eggs.

Walking over to the refrigerator I grabbed the milk, pouring a glass for Jules and handing it to him. The milk was left out on the counter for when the coffee was done. "Are you gonna make tea for Daddy?" Julian asked, taking a bite of his toast. Shit, forgot about that. "Do you think he'll want any?" The little boy shrugged, "Usually."

So once the coffee was finished and I fixed my cup to my liking, I started on John's tea. Another door creaked open and this time I knew who it was. "G'mornin" he mumbled, ruffling his hair. "Good morning Daddy!" Julian chirped.

"Here's your breakfast, your tea will be done soon." I placed his plate in front of him as he sat down. John smirked, "How did you know I wanted tea today?"
I poured the hot water in the mug, "Jules told me to make some for you."
He reached over to ruffle Julian's hair, "That's a good boy, always know what Daddy wants."

Mixing the tea the way John likes it, I placed it on the table and finally got around to eating my breakfast. "Today I'm going to the studio with the boys." John announced abruptly, causing me and Julian to look up at him. "You think you're ready for that?" He sipped his tea, "Of course, work needs to be done." I nodded my head slowly, this would be good I'm sure John was tired of being around the house. What could go wrong?