Just A Little Insane

Ready

Me and Lincoln grew closer after I told him what I used to be like. He seemed very interested. It made me happy to think about my past. At least certain parts of it.

I told him how quiet and shy and smart I used to be. "Well you still seem smart to me." Lincoln said. I sighed and continued. "I um, almost never talked. Layla almost always did the taking for me. I used to be so scared of everything. Not like, fears like spiders or the dark. Like I was afraid to talk to people and stuff like that." I said.

Lincoln nodded in understanding and asked,"What changed you?"

I just shook my head. There was silence for a minute before he asked, "What else were you like?"

"I was much kinder and I could read people really well. I could look at a person and just kind of - understand them." I said. There was a short pause before I continued. "I can't do that anymore."

We both laughed. "I guess I was more unique than I am now. I loved stars and constellations. I was such a geek and nerd and -" I breathed in deeply. "I don't know. I just," I shrugged. "I'm not like that anymore."

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After he left, I went back to my room. I felt warm and fuzzy inside, but at the same time, my stomach was tied in knots. I needed to stay away from Lincoln. It was just impossible.

For the next couple weeks, Lincoln would come over to help plan for the Christmas party. I would really just sit there and stare at his gorgeous face. But, as it came closer to the party, the closer we became.

One time, after one of Layla and Lincoln's planning sessions, Layla had to go with Bailey somewhere but Lincoln stayed.

"Do you have a date to the party?" He asked me. I shook my head. "Nope. I don't know anyone." I said. "Oh well, I don't have a date yet either. Do you want to come with me?" Lincoln asked. I froze. My heart was the only thing not frozen, my brain was stuck in the ice. I was able to control myself enough to not be stupid.

"Alright. Only if you promise not to embarrass me." I said playfully. Lincoln shook his head. "Okay then. It's settled. I'll see you then?" I nodded before we both stood up and walked to the door. "Bye Zoe." He said. "Bye."

Now, I'm getting ready for the party. I've only seen Lincoln twice since he asked me to the party. Once was when he came over to finalize the plans for the party and the other was when he was decorating the place the for the party. Layla got to chose where the party takes place and she chose the community center.

It's a big place but it's really boring. Well, now it's not but without all that hard work that Lincoln and she did, it's looks really nice.

     As I try apply my makeup, Layla walks in and sees me struggling. "Here let me help," she says and picks up the mascara. I smile weakly in gratitude. "You used to be great at this. What happened?" She asks as she begins to open the bottle. I shrug. "I don't know. I guess I lost my touch," I say sadly.

     We sit in silence while Layla finishes and fixes my makeup. When she's done, we both get up and leave the bathroom and go to my closet.

     Layla looks though my clothes hanging in my closet and in my drawers but she fails to find anything nice enough to wear to the party. Most of my clothes consist of jeans and t-shirts so she doesn't have much to work with.

     "You have nothing to wear. What happened to all of your clothes? You had nice stuff," Layla complains. "I got rid of all of them. Didn't think I'd need them when the prison supplies clothes for you," I say a little harshly. "Oh, right," she relies quietly.

     I don't mean to make her feel bad but prison is a sensitive topic for me. I really didn't like it and it just brings back bad memories. Layla knows this but she constantly gets to topics that lead to my memories of prison. I know she's trying really hard to treat me like nothing happened. But, she's much at forgetting than I am.

     "Alright," Layla says recovering and breathing deeply, breaking the tension. "Let's look at my wardrobe. I think I actually have some of your old clothes." She walks out of my room and down the hall to hers. Her clothes are not really my style. She always wears really fancy stuff all the time, like dresses and matching outfits. I really just stick to jeans.

      "None of this," I say pointing to all the clothes in her closet. "Your right. This is my look. You are not wearing my clothes anyways. I have something for you," Layla says looking sincerely at me. She reaches into the closet and pulls out a box. It's pretty big so I go over and help her.

     Together, we place the oversized box on Layla's bed. She lifts she top off the box and I look inside. As expected, there are clothes. But not just any clothes, my old clothes.

    "Oh." Is all I can manage to say. Layla nods her head and walks towards the door. "Get dressed. We'll talk later."

     I follow her instructions. I pull out nice white jeans and a warm pink sweater. I change my clothes and close the box. It's hard to wear the clothes I haven't worn in years.  It reminds me of before. That's something I'm not sure that I want to remember.

    I leave Layla's room and go back to mine. I grab some black boots and put them on before I go to Bailey's room where Layla is. "Finally. Took you long enough," she says brightly. Obviously she doesn't want to talk about how she got my clothes right now. "Yep. I'm ready. Let's go."