Just A Little Insane

Story

     That sure softens me up. I realize that Lincoln really might believe me. And then, we can be together. He doesn't care about my past. He just wants me to tell him so I will be with him.

     I the one who's holding back. He's just trying to break my shell. And I think I'm gonna let him.

     I sit down at one of the chairs. Lincoln comes and flips a chair around so our chairs are facing opposite directions and he sits on it backwards so he's facing me with his legs on each side of the chair.

     "Layla once told me that you have to live the story you want to tell. I'm not able to do that. It's not something I did. It's something that other people thought I did." I begin.

     "I guess,it all started with coffee one day. Or night. I was on a date with my boyfriend. It was a last minute thing. He just decided he wanted to get coffee. So he called me and we went to the coffee shop next to my dorm, since I was in collage at the time.

     "We had the best homemade bread and coffee. We would dip the bread in the coffee. It was so good." I say smiling big. But that smile drops as I begin the next sentence.

    "He was walking me home from the shop. We were almost there. Around the corner from were I lived. Someone came- came running up- running up behind us, and..." I can't continue. I've only told this story three times before. To Layla, in court, and the last time I didn't even say a word.  I had to write it down. None of those times did I ever finish the story. Everyone already knew the end anyway. But this time, I can't stop.  Lincoln doesn't know the end.

     I know I have to finish. I breath and try and blink the tears out of my eyes.

    "When the person got just a couple yards away from us, they started running faster. We couldn't see them since it was dark and they were behind us, so we just ignored them and kept talking." I pause. I don't know how to word this. I don't want to out it straight out. Once I do that, then I will have excepted it myself and I haven't done that yet.

     I start to cry silent tears. "I don't know why, but- but, they- the person- they just- stabbed him." Here I burst into tears and Lincoln doesn't know what to do.

     "I'm, I'm so sorry." Is all he says. We sit there in silence while tears run down my face. "Well, um, are you ready to go now?" He asks. In about to say yes when I realize my story isn't over yet. "No. I'm not done."

     Lincoln looks surprised but doesn't argue.

     "Alright then. Let's here the end." He says.

     "Oh, no. That was just the beginning." I say. Again, he looks shocked but doesn't protest while I finish.

     "I stay there with him, waiting for an ambulance. When we could here the sirens, I could see him falling, drifting. He hadn't said a word, I told him to save his energy. By the time the ambulance was there, he was- he- he was, gone."

     We sit in silence again. I'm not sure that Lincoln is even listening. "I was accused of his murder, and for whatever reason, everyone believed that I did it but Layla. Even Wes. Even, Mr. Lynch." I say more to myself now.

"Who's Mr. Lynch?" Lincoln asks. Whoops. Didn't think he was listening. "Um, my foster dad." I say awkwardly. "Oh. I didn't know you were, or, are a foster..." He trails off. "It's alright. They no way you could've known. Unless Layla told you that too." I say.

"Oh. Please don't be angry at Layla. I forced all of that information out of her." He says. I look at him. He really wants to be with me. "Do you believe me? That- that I didn't kill Dan?" I ask hesitantly.

"Who? Oh. Right. Yes, of course I believe you. I don't why someone wouldn't. " he says kindly. "Well, the jury did which is what is important. I was- I was in jail for two and a half years. Then, something happened, they reopened the case or something and I was found innocent and let me go." I say.

"Oh. That's why you're staying with Layla." He says. I nod. "That sounds like a tough couple years."

"Yeah. It was three years ago on November 8th." I say grimly. "That's when my life completely changed."

     "I'm sorry. That must of been hard. Why didn't you tell me earlier? I would've believed you. What made you think I wouldn't?" Lincoln asks.

     "Like I said, literally everyone but Layla didn't believe me."

     "Oh, right. Well, I can't fix the past, but I want to make your future as happy as I can. You just have to let me in." Lincoln says.

     "I know." I say. I told him what I wanted to and he believes me. There is nothing holding me back anymore. My shell is open. He took all this quite well.

     "So, we're good now? We can...be together?" He asks. I chuckle. "Yeah. I guess we're good." Then a thought comes and my face drops. Lincoln's smile drops when he sees that I'm unhappy.

     "What's wrong?" He asks. "Dan, I- I haven't really liked anyone since..." I sigh. "This- this is going to be hard for me. That feeling, when you love someone like I loved Dan, it- it reminds me-" I keep stuttering. I don't know how to say this.

     "There is more than one reason I was holding back. I didn't realize it till now." I look up at Lincoln. "This reminds me too much of what I had with Dan. I can't do this. I'm sorry Lincoln. I need to just stay away." I say and stand up and start to walk away.

     I notice that it had emptied out quite a bit. It is almost 11:30.

     Before I can walk away though, Lincoln pops up right in front of me. Maybe five inches away from my face.

     "Here's the problem. Do you want to be alone your whole life? Are you just going to keep running from that pain? It's not going to go away unless you confront it. You can't keep running. It will just hurt more." He says.

      I start to cry again. But not sad tears. Thankful tears. Lincoln had helped me. I know he is right. I need to confront the pain so I don't keep running from it.

     I nod at his words and he hugs me while I cry. "Alright." I say. "You okay?" Lincoln asks. "Yeah. I'm great." I reply though my tears. Then I start to sob.

     Lincoln pulls out of the hug and places his hands on my shoulders. "Not right now," He whispers. I nod.

     Lincoln then takes my arms and let's them hang over his shoulders and outs his hands on my waist. We begin to rock back and forth to the song. Slowly, we move closer and closer to each other.

      At the end of the song, our faces are an inch away. "Tuesday night, you and me, dinner and bowling." He says. "Alright." I reply and he kisses me.