It Has To End This Way

~CHAPTER 1: Ellis' POV~

~WARNING: If you don't do well with sad/depressing topics I would recommend you read with caution! Also, it could be triggering to some people so again read with caution. And if you're really judgemental... just don't read this story. Thanks! Love you and thanks for reading!~

I raised the blade to my wrist and hesitated. I checked the time. 10:10. I raised the razor blade to my scarred wrist. I sliced open my skin and wait for the blood to pour out over the deep incision. I couldn't wait for it to come out so I placed the blade over the cut I made and drove it in deeper. Crimson red poured out covering my whole forearm. I bled so much it dripped onto my blanket and covered a foot of it and was still going. My phone started ringing. Tristan.

"Hey." My voice cracked and I tried to hide the fact that I was crying.

"What's wrong, Ellis?" Tristan sounded concerned and almost mad.

"Nothing. I'm fine, baby. Don't worry."

"Ellis, seriously. Are you cutting?" I could hear fury in his voice.

"No, I'm just slicing into unneeded skin and losing unneeded blood. That's all. Don't freak out, Tristan. It's fine." I tried to make it sound like a little thing. Like it's no biggy. To me it's nothing to worry about but he hates when I do it. He would kill for me to stop.

"We talked about this..." Tristan said a little defeated.

"I know we did. But I can't help it. It's not my fault I get bullied and my parents barely notice my existence and they won't pay for pills. Okay? I can't help any of that." I tried defending myself. What's the point? I know it's my fault that I cut. I could be stronger. I could get the money for my mental illness medication if I got a job. I could make my parents proud for once. I could do lots of things. The thing is I never do.

"God dammit, Ellis. You know I love you. Why do you do this to yourself? Don't you realize every time you hurt yourself, you hurt me." He started crying.

"I'm sorry. I'm trying." I hate when he does this to me. I bet it does hurt him. I just... I don't know. I don't want to hear how much this hurts him because then I'd feel the need to quit but I can't.

Tristan hung up the phone and I started sobbing. He hates me. I know he does. I'm such a selfish bastard. I don't understand why he stays with me.   He's got so much hope and charisma and charm that he's wasting on a guy like me. I hate myself. I am a terrible person. A terrible boyfriend. A terrible son. I'm just terrible. The only people who deserve to get stuck with me are scummy people.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I hid my razor and my blood stained blanket. I put a dish towel over my arm and pulled my sleeve over it. I opened my door and Tristan was standing there.

"Tristan." I gasped.

"Let me see your wrist." He commanded.

I shook my head. He glared at me, "SHOW ME YOUR GOD DAMNED WRIST!"

My face got about 15 shades whiter and just stared at him. He grabbed my arm and pushes up my sleeve forcefully but making sure it didn't hurt me. The blood had already seeped through the towel. Tristan hugged me tightly. "Dammit, Ellis." He whispered softly in my ear.

"Tristan, are you mad?" I asked him.

"Come here." He held me closer and kissed the top of my head.

Does he even know if he's mad at me or not? He just totally avoided my question.

"You need to go to the hospital, lets go." He told me.

"But-" I started to fight with him but decided not to because I've already caused him enough pain. "Okay, lets go."

Tristan put his arm around me and walked me out to his car. He opened the passenger door and sat me down and buckled me up. He walked around to the driver's side and got it and sped down the road. We got pulled over.

"FUCK!" Tristan screamed.

The officer came around to the car and bent down to Tristan's window and tapped on it. Tristan rolled it down. "License and registration, please." The officer smiled at him.

"Sir, I know I shouldn't have been speeding but I need to take him to the hospital. We were making food and he had a knife accident." Tristan lied to protect me.

The cop looked in at me and saw the bloody towel I was holding and let us go. Tristan sped the rest of the way to the hospital and parked and took me in. There were 10 other people waiting for medical assistance.

"Hello, how may I help you?" the woman behind the counter asked us.

"He cut himself and cut a major a vein and it won't stop bleeding. We need assistance right away." Tristan said panicked.

"Sir, we are going to need you to fill out this form first and there are other patients waiting." The receptionist told him and handed him a form.

"ARE ANY OF THEM BLEEDING TO DEATH? IF WE WAIT A FEW MORE MINUTES HE COULD PASS OUT OR DIE! AND I WILL BE SURE TO SUE YOUR SORRY ASS IF HE DOES!" Tristan screamed.

"Okay, sir, you need to calm down." The lady patronized him.

"Just let the poor boy in!" One of the people waiting told the lady.

"Please, come with me and bring the form so you can fill it out while he is getting looked at." She led us to a room. "The doctor will be with you very soon."

"Thanks." He snarled at her.

A nurse came in and asked all sorts of questions while she wrapped up my wrist. A doctor came in and started putting staples in my arm.

"These will just fall out when the wound starts to heal." The doctor handed Tristan some paper work and things of that sort and let us leave.

Tristan drove me home without saying a word.

"You're mad." I said as I slid off my jeans and shirt so I was in my boxers getting ready for bed.

"Ellis, you know I love you. Why would you do this?" He looked down.

"You know why...." I said.

"Babe, I'm not gonna yell at you tonight. I'm too tired and worn out. Just promise me you wont cut again... at least for tonight." He looked worn out. He had bags under his big blue eyes, his black long scene hair was messy, his lip ring was out, and he was slouching so he looked about half a foot shorter than his six foot stance.

"You can always stay here overnight. I don't want you to drive when you're this tired." I told him.

"Alright. Thanks." Tristan yawned.

I'm just glad that we both live alone. Once we came out to our parents they got us our own place then disowned us. They pay rent and all of that but never talk to us anymore. But it gives us the freedom to do whatever we want within reason.

"Ellis, where am I sleeping?" Tristan asked.

"On the bed." I said getting out some blankets and laying them on the floor.

"Hun, you're not sleeping on the floor. I can. You need to sleep well tonight. You've had a long night." He said.

"Trist, you're not either. Come on. Let's just both sleep on the bed. It's a king bed, they'll be enough room. Don't worry." I picked up the blankets and put them on the bed.

"I'm going to go get a drink. I'll be right back." Trist left the room and went to the kitchen.

He's going to be mad. I don't keep alcohol in the apartment. That's pretty much all he drinks. He came back and slid his ripped jeans off and took his shirt off. He readjusted his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles boxers and climbed into bed next to me. I turned off the light. Tristan snuggled up to me and kissed my neck.

~AUTHOR'S NOTE- Hope you like this story! I've never written a romance story for a gay couple so if you have any suggestions or feedback or anything just message me! Thanks for reading!~