It Has To End This Way

~CHAPTER 2: Tristan's POV~

I woke up with Ellis wrapped up in my arms and his face buried in my neck. I love when I sleepover here. I always get to wake up with him like this. I kissed his forehead and he stirred slightly. I shook his shoulder and he woke up. He shifted a little then sat up. I noticed his and my own erection. Damn.

"Uh, Trist..." Ellis blushed and looked down at my lap then back up.

"Yeah, I know. You too." I looked up at the ceiling.

Ellis got out of bed and went to the kitchen. I sat up and I heard a crunching. I looked around and saw bloody paper towels shoved in the crack between his bed and the wall. I dug through that and found bloody blankets and his diary. I tucked it under this bed again and hid everything else. I stood up and went out to the kitchen and kissed Ellis lightly.

"Trist, you're still a little.... uh, well, you know." Ellis blushed.

I laughed, "Ellis, you're still hard too. It's a natural part of life. Especially when you dream about Ryan Gosling."

"I wasn't dreaming about him, I was dreaming about you." Ellis blushed.

I smiled at him, "Now I know I'm not the only one who did that."

Ellis rolled his eyes. He opened up the blind and he just looked amazing in that light. His pale skin just shined nicely, his green eyes sparkled, the light shined off of his lip ring, and his messy blue hair shined. He's always handsome but he really is in this light.

"Hey, Tristy?" Ellis turned away from me and started making some coffee.

"Yeah?" I came up behind him and rested my chin on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his tummy.

"Well, I was thinking..." He started.

"So that's what I was smelling? I thought something was burning." I joked.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." He said sarcastically. "But seriously, we both have addictions that the other hates and I think if we like.... do you see where I'm going with this?"

"No, not at all."

"Tristy, like I mean we should keep a closer eye on each other... like-" Ellis started explaining.

"You want me to move in with you, right?" I asked

"Pfft, I never said that. But if I did that's probably how I would say it." Ellis said awkwardly.

"I'd love to move in with you." I kissed his neck. "Just don't be all awkward if one of us has a boner."

"I'll work on it. So, do you wanna move your stuff out today?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure. Lets eat first. I'm starving."  I groaned.

Ellis made pancakes while I picked out clothes from his closet but he's smaller so most of his clothes were too small for me. I found a pair of boxers and some sweatpants that fit me but I'm so much taller so I had to go shirtless. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed two plates. Ellis put 2 pancakes on his plate and gave me 4.

"Hey, Elli, what do you mean we both have an addiction?" I asked.

Ellis looked like a deer trapped in headlights, "Well, I have self harm and you have alcohol."

I could feel my face getting red with fury and I almost started screaming at him. "What do you mean I have alcohol?"  

"Tristy, you know you drink more than you should." He lowered his voice. "You're only 17 and you drink at least 5 drinks a night."

"Just because I drink more than I am supposed to doesn't make me an alcoholic." I gritted my teeth.

Ellis stared up at me, "When was the last time you went a full day, 24 hours, without drinking?"

Dammit, he's right. I haven't gone a day being completely sober in a year and a few months. I am an alcoholic! Tears burned in my eyes. I can't let Ellis see me cry though. He'll think I'm weak. I have to be the strong one in this relationship. What he goes through is way worse than what I go through so I have to be there for him. I couldn't help it and I started sobbing into his shoulder.

"Don't cry." Ellis put his arms around me. "It's okay."

"I'm an alcoholic, Ellis..." I bawled even harder.

"I'll help you. You can help me. It'll all work out in the end." He promised me.

"Thanks." I hugged him tightly.

I let go of him and wiped my tears off of his bare shoulder. He got changed and we went to my apartment. We loaded all of the stuff I needed into my van and we went back to his house. We unpacked my bags and he shared his space pretty equally with me.

"Hey, Tristan. What do you want for dinner?" He asked me.

"I don't care. Whatever you want." I shrugged.

"I could go pick up a frozen pizza." He suggested.

I nodded. "Sounds good. Want me to come with?"

Ellis shook his head, "Nah, I can go alone."

Ellis grabbed his keys and put his leather jacket on. When he left I knew he'd be gone for over half an hour. I went into the bedroom and grabbed the bottle of whiskey I hid in there. I drank until it was half gone and I was sure I was drunk. I hid the rest of the bottle back in the closet waited for Elli to come home. The door opened and I got nervous. What if he knows I'm drunk?

"Hey." Ellis went in the kitchen and set the frozen pizzas on the counter.

"Hi." I walked over to him and tried to kiss him.

Ellis pushed me away, "You've been drinking again!"

"What are you talking about?" I tried to lie.

"I smell whiskey on your breath!" He yelled.

I took a deep breath and tried to regroup. "I'm sorry. Don't hate me! It was stupid and careless and I'm sorry!"

Ellis walked away and went to the bedroom and locked the door. Fuck! The realization that there's a strong possibility that he's self harming crossed my mind instantly.

I pounded on the door violently, "ELLIS! DON'T DO IT!"

I could hear him sobbing.

"PLEASE! LET ME IN!" I yelled.

"No." He croaked.

I kicked down the door sending severe pain in my leg. Ellis was crying into his knees and blood was gushing out of arm. I grabbed a paper towel and put it on his arm. I sopped up the blood and I provided pressure to his cut. Ellis kept crying and I hugged him.

"Hey, stop crying. I'm not mad." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you, but you can't drink every time I'm not here. I can't be worried that every time I'm not with you that you'll be drinking." He cuddled up against me.

"I'm sorry. I'm going to try. Try harder than I did today." I vowed.

Ellis hugged me tightly, "You better."

"Then you have to try harder not to self harm." I negotiated.

"I'll try." Ellis kissed me.

Ellis stood up and went to the bathroom. He rinsed out his cut and put gauze on it and then put medical tape so it would stay. It's scary how well he can do this. He probably has to do this a lot...  

~AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks for reading!~