It Has To End This Way

~CHAPTER 3: Ellis' POV~

Tristan had his arms around me and was snoring in my ear. I sat up and he woke up. My hands were shaking and I started crying. I hate nightmares.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Tristan asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Just a nightmare." I laid back down.

Trist held me close and sang me a lullaby. I drifted off to sleep and didn't have another nightmare. When we woke up the next morning Tristy was hugging me and my head was on his bare chest. He was awake and just watching me sleep.

"Good morning." He smiled at me.

"Mornin'" I shifted a little so I could untangle my legs from his when I noticed he had a boner.

"What's up? You seem nervous." He looked at me puzzled.

"I just noticed something, that's all." I laughed.

Tristan pushed my head to the side lightly, "Oh, shut up."

I climbed up on him and straddled him. He pulled my head down to his. I kissed him lightly. He tried to kiss me more. He ran his tongue on my lower lip. I pulled away.

"Ellis, you realize that you can't get STD's by making out with someone, right?" Tristy teased.

"What do you mean?" I looked away.

"You've never made out with me before. You've never ever used tongue with me." Tristan looked at me curiously.

"Well, that's because..." I put my hand over my mouth, "I don't know how."

"What was that last part?"Tristy asked me.

"I don't know how." I mumbled. "You're the only one I've ever kissed..."

Trist hugged me, "Aw, so you're pure?" 

"Yeah... are you?" I looked at him.

"No, not really. I've made out with a few girls when I was in denial but I'm a virgin and you're my first guy." Trist tried explaining.

"You're my first." I blushed.

He kissed me, "Well, you're my last."  

Aw, that was so sweet! This is why I love him!

"Ellis, I could always teach you how to kiss like that. I mean if you want me to." Trist offered.

"Won't that make me look like a total little kid?" I reddened.

"Nah, it's sweet. I kinda wanna teach you." Trist smiled.

"Okay, you can teach me." I told him.

Trist sat up. "Okay, well, the first thing you want to do is close your eyes. Then lean in and let our bodies melt together and then go for the kiss." He smiled at me. "Now, try that much."

I was still laying on his lap so I half sat up and I started leaning in and closed my eyes. I lifted my chin up and kissed him. I slid my hand up behind his neck and rested the other on his thigh.

Tristan opened his eyes and disconnected the kiss. "That was great. You've even mastered the hands. Now, you need to sort of lightly suck on my lip and pull away very briefly and then do it again."

I closed my eyes and leaned in and kissed him lightly at first then I did what he told me. I sucked on his bottom lip. We pulled away at the same time and went back in. It was like we were connected. I pulled away and Trist leaned in further than back out.

"Wow. Just wow." He blushed. "Okay, now, add tongue to it."

I did so and it was amazing! I never realized how experienced Tristan was. This thought suddenly got me riled up.

"Ellis, you're a great kisser." He kissed my cheek.

"Yeah, so are you. You seem pretty experienced." I snapped.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tristan asked seeming really confused.

I just shook my head and looked at the ground.

"You do, too, but I'm the only person you've ever kissed." He reasoned. "Maybe we just seem experienced with each other  because we're together."

I rolled my eyes. That doesn't make any sense. He's just being stupid. Tristan looked at me with sincere eyes. What the hell? Shouldn't he be mad at me. I mean he should be thinking I'm overreacting! I looked at him curiously and as if he understood why I gave him that look, he said, "Ellis, I'm not mad. I know you're going to be a little wrong about relationships because this is the only one you've had. You do need to understand relationships take work. A lot of work. You can't expect me to work everything out all the time, though. Just like I can't expect you to."

He actually was sounding sort of smart. Not that he's stupid but he's always had a hard time with words. He's more of an action type of guy. He doesn't talk about feelings or send little hints. He just shows how he feels. I can take that the wrong way sometimes but I try. Now, as for me... I'm good with words. I always have been. That's why I want to be a writer. I have issues putting myself out there with actions. Words just seem more private and if I don't feel comfortable with saying it out loud, I can just write a note or something like that.

Tristan left the bedroom and started brewing coffee. He doesn't even drink coffee but he's brewing it for me. He can be so sweet. But that's what I mean. He shows how he feels with doing little things like that. I followed him out into the kitchen and kissed his cheek lightly. He turned toward me and I could smell a hint of vodka -his drink of choice-  on his breath. Was that from last night still? No, I would've smelt that when I kissed him this morning.

"Have you been drinking?" I asked in a stone cold voice just praying to hear him say no.

He nodded guiltily. "I'm so sorry. But... I mean... I just... I can't... I can't just give it up all together in one day. It doesn't work like that.

"I understand. But if you really need to drink, drink in front of me. That way if you drink a little too much I can help you judge if you need another." I told him trying not to sound too disappointed in him.

He nodded and looked disappointed in himself. I feel bad for him. I've been really hard on him in the last couple days because of his drinking. Now, he's even disappointed in himself. If he's going to be this hard on himself... well maybe I should lighten up. I do love him and I don't want him to feel like this.

"Babe, don't worry about it. It's all going to be okay. We'll help each other through this." I reassured him. 

"I know. Thanks." He smiled at me.