kik ; phan au (completed)

eight

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

Dan :

No one loves me I thought to myself, rocking myself back and forth on my bed. Tears dropping, one after the next as I look at my wrist. I couldn't bring myself to do it, I can't relapse after five months of not.

I look at the box underneath my TV stand, holding my old necessities or in my case, ten blades and a rag, followed with a bottle of water. I grab my leg trying to stop me, from making my way towards it. I hear a knock at my door.

"Occupied!" I say, locking my door, and quickly grabbing the box and locking my bathroom door behind me.

I sit on the floor, and open the box slowly taking a blade and holding it in the air, inspecting it. I hold my wrist straight out, and slowly make my blade to my wrist, and take a slice. Blood oozes, it stings then adrenaline kicks in. Five minutes pass, blood staining my jeans, and cuts covering my arms. I slowly sit against the wall, crying, disappointed in myself. I look at my now bloody blade and punch the wall. Another knock is heard.

"Daniel, you have been in there awfully long are you okay dear?" I hear my mother's soothing voice.

"Im fine mom! Love you." I say praying, she doesn't come in.

"Dinner is ready in five!" I hear her footsteps fade away.

I return my eyes to my wrist, I take the water and wash the blood away, taking the rag to finish the deed. I pull down my sleeves and sign, carefully setting my items in my box. I continue by unlocking the bathroom door, and returning the box to it's original position. I slowly sit on my bed, laying back.

I could not believe myself. I was doing so good, two months without therapy. If my mother found out she would be furious. She hated me before, and nearly kicked me out of her house for being depressed. I still didn't understand, why I had relapsed. Unless..no it couldn't have been Phil. Or maybe it could of.