Can't Lose You

Chapter 9

Made a new cover. ^
How's it?

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🔸Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters🔸

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(Continuation)
31st August, 2016

2 messages

2 voicemails

16 missed calls

And guess what?

I'm screwed.

So maybe leaving the house with that Need4Speed inspired exit that I pulled wasn't really the best idea.

Pft. It wasn't an idea. It's was a 'I'm a bad case of fuck up and I felt like chocking on air and dying, so gotta Zayn' kinda moment.

Maybe it's time I think through my actions before acting upon them. Actions that won't lead me to face the scariest sight on Earth.

Aunt Nina's face.

Nearly exploding from all the rage.

I could see it clearly in my head. The tip of her nose would be red. Her cheeks, a dangerous shade of pink. The way she'd take deep breaths and close her eyes frequently to maintain her calm posture.

Good thing she did yoga. Saph and my behaviour urged her to start doing it. Like i said, we were a real pain in the ass to deal with. In the beginning when we started living with her, it was hard for her to deal with us.

After she started yoga, it was bearable i guess. And like the thoughtful sisters we were, we provided Aunty with all the time she needed to calm herself before she faced us.

I turned the car into the driveway, next to Aunt Nina's car and turned off the ignition. After preparing myself for Aunty's wrath I got out of the car and locked  it. Seeing as the front door was locked, I headed towards the backdoor, and seeing it unlocked, i slipped inside and locked it.

I yanked open the fridge and grabbed the plastic water cup and drank it. The little light from the fridge illuminated the kitchen, enabling me to make out what was placed on the counter.

My dinner. Covered with foil. On it was a post-it that said, Im very disappointed

Sighing, i closed the fridge losing the tiny appetite I had previously, and clambered up the stairs.

Opening the door, i stood in the doorway of my room that was flooded with faded moonlight. I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe and gazed at nothing. I dont remember how long i stood there or why i stood there. I just did.

As i did, i realised Aunty hasn't encountered me on my way. I wonder what time it was.

I went back downstairs and into Aunt Nina's room. I cracked the door open and made out the silhouette on the bed. She was sleeping.

Pain stabbed at my heart at the thought that she hadn't cared enough to stay awake for me to come home.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, reminding myself that she did call 16 times. She cared. Of Course she did. She wouldn't move continents with me if she didn't.

After i consoled myself successfully, i tiptoed towards Aunty's bed, after taking off my shoes outside the door. I kneeled beside her and watched the steady rate at which her chest rose and fell. That made me feel better. The movement meant she was alive. She was breathing and she was there with me. She was the only one who was there.

In that moment i realized, i had no one except for her as my family. And also the little monster in the crib.

Emotions clogged my throat, as i leaned forward and brushed a peck on Aunt Nina's forehead.

I wish Saph was here. And mom was here. And baba was here. I would do anything to have them with me right now.

After pouring my heart to my father at his grave i had silently leaned against his grave and stared at the clear night sky. I talked to him about everything that happened, that i felt, that shouldn't have had happened.

Shaking my head, i glanced at Aunty and stood up. I was about to walk outside when i caught movement in the crib. I neared it and found the familiar dazzling eyes staring at me.

The devil is awake.

Without thinking, i gently scooped Aurora in my arms and stepped out the door. I walked in the kitchen and perched her on the high chair. She didnt blabbered or cried. She simply sat there and watched my movements.

I made her bottle and shook it while scooping her in my arms. I climbed up the stairs and entered my room. Sitting at the edge on my bed, she latched on the bottle when i poked it on her lips. She closed her eyes and placed her chubby hand on mine.

I sat there until her hold on my hand slackened, indicating she was asleep. Kissing her softly on the head, i laid her down in the middle of my bed. Taking the numerous throw pillows perched on the headboard, I surrounded Aurora's sleeping form with those.
I took some and threw them on the floor on her side.

After that I laid down beside her and looked at her. Maybe the first time i really looked at her. And it hurt. It hurt so bad. So I kissed her hand, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, because i was so damn happy she was with me. Beside me.

Then sighed, a contented sigh.

Closing my eyes, i cant say when i fell asleep. But i can certainly say, it was the best one i have had in months.

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Hope you all liked it even though this was really short, but,..

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Until next time,

Nemo 💛