taken by sleep // joshler

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"I feel red." I say

"What kind of red?" Josh asks me, messing with his snare drum.

"Deep red. Burgundy? But darker."

"Why? What's wrong Ty?"

"I don't know. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. I feel angry, but not fire red, it's darker."

"Don't be angry Ty, I don't like it when you're not happy." Josh looks up at me, concern filling his eyes.

My stomach turns, knots untie and re-tie themselves, and I feel embarrassed. He's my best friend, he has been my best friend since we were 7. Why do I feel like this all of a sudden?

"There's so many things I can't control and I hate it. I hate how I feel all of the time." I look down, capturing my lip with my teeth.

"How do you really feel, though? I want to help, but you have to tell me."

"I feel like I want to die."