nicki's pov
I woke up to my alarm going off. I quickly turn it off, not wanting to wake my dad up. I lay there and start to shed a tear. I really don't want to go to school I'm tired of people making fun of me and bullying me. I swear the whole school hates me. why don't I just kill myself? No one would care anyway. More tears start to roll down me cheeks. "today is going to be my last day on this awful planet, when I get home from school I am going to kill myself" I said to myself as I started balling. Despite not wanting to go to school I wipe my tears away and get dressed. I put on some baggy sweats and a tank top since I didn't really feel like getting dressed.
when I was finished getting dressed I quietly went down stairs to find me dad on the couch passed out with a bottle of vodka in his hand. He must of been drinking all night like he normally does. ever since my mom died when I was 12 he's been drinking all the time. I grab my car keys and I walk out the door careful not to wake him up.
I get to school and start walking to my locker and grab all my books out of it. its not long before misty, the school bully, comes to mess with me.
"hey you little slut " she says as she knocks the books out of my hand
"leave me the hell alone" I yell back at her. she slaps me and pushes me on the floor
"listen here you bitch! don't you ever talk to me like that again!" she kicks me twice in the stomach "and next time I see you and you want to have attitude you are going to get it worse then this" she walks away and I get up, pick up my books and run to the bathroom. I run into the one of the stalls and pulled out one of my blades. I looked at my arm and made 3 small cuts. I watched as the blood ran down my arms and on the floor. when it stopped bleeding I cleaned up the mess, put on my jacket so the cuts wouldn't show and stayed in the bathroom until the lunch bell rang. I walked out of the bathroom to go to lunch. when I walked out the bathroom safaree the school quarterback was sitting outside the door.
"hey nicki" he said getting up from the ground "I saw what misty did to you I just wanted to make sure that your okay"
"yeah I'm fine" I said looking down at the ground. I was surprised that he even knew my name. he was the cutest kid in school but I knew that I never have a chance with him.
"okay just making sure. would you like to have lunch with me"
"no I'm not in the mood to eat' I said as I started to walk away. He grabbed my arm "please nicki I would really like to have lunch with you"
"okay fine" we walk over to the lunch tables and sit down
"so nick how are you today"
"not so good. I'm so tired off people messing with me especially misty. ughhh I cant stand her"
"why do you let them mess you? why don't you stand up for yourself" before I could answer the question the bell rang.
"nicki would you like to hang out sometime after school"
"yeah that would be cool" we exchanged numbers and went to class. the rest of the day was terrible as usual. I went home early because I couldn't handle it. when I got home I walked in the door and my dad was sitting on the couch he looked pissed.
" ONIKA TANYA MARAJ GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!" he yelled I quickly walked over to him. he stood up and grabbed my face so I was looking directly at him. I could tell he was drunk because his breath wreaked of alcohol.
"what happened to the whiskey that was in the cabinet!!!!" whiskey was his favorite alcoholic drink so I knew better not to touch it and besides I didn't drink anyways.
"I dont know daddy" I said with fear in my voice I had never seen him so angry before. just then he slapped me so hard I was on the ground
"YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHISKEY! I KNOW YOU DRANK IT"
"no I didn't daddy I promise" I was so scared I was shaking I was so afraid he was going to hit me again
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU" he yelled. he punched me in my face and then started kicking me in my stomach
I started screaming "please daddy stop I didn't drink your whiskey" but he wouldn't listen he just keep kicking me. I screamed even louder
"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE BITCH" this time he started kicking me in the head until I blacked out.
I woke up on the ground and there was a puddle of blood around my head. my body was sore everywhere. I got up and my body was in so much pain. my dad was no where to be found so I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. when I was finished I looked at myself in the mirror and I had a black eye and bruises all over my head and stomach. I started to cry uncontrollably. I ran downstairs to the medicine cabnet and grabbed a bottle of pills I went to my room and grabbed my blades. I had enough. Im was done. Tonight was the night I was going to myself.
