The Official Douche Bag Travel Guide of Chad Barrington

Prologue:

     Some people were never meant to hear the truth. Like Jack Nicholson said in that movie that proved Tom Cruise and Demi Moore could actually act their way out of a paper bag; some people were just incapable of handling it.

     If your Auntie Hazel ever asked at a family reunion what happened to that lovely wife of yours, it might be considered inconsiderate to reply that she preferred cocks that didn't belong to you. Whether or not the claim is true is irrelevant; people will not appreciate the hard truth, no matter which guy it belonged to. This was the reality Chad Barrington found himself in during the entire process of his divorce. Even though his heart broken and life in shambles, everyone still wanted their truths sugar coated to sooth their fragile egos. The longer the divorce lasted, the less Chad cared about sugar coating anything. Soon he was posting memes on facebook that made people uncomfortable, and he watched in delight as his friends list hemorrhaged like Tim Roth's stomach in Reservoir Dogs. Chad was shedding his conscious like a snake discarding its skin; he was losing the ability to give a flying fuck about anything and especially anyone. This change made Chad a lot more cynical as things that would normally make him feel bad resulted in laughter, lots of laughter.

     While this new attitude was considered anti-social in society, in the workplace Chad was becoming a more productive legal drone. He took on cases that would make most people's ball shrivel without hesitation, and Barrington was rising up in the ranks of his firm because he longer gave a shit if the people he represented were innocent. If you had the money, he would fight to the bitter end to win your freedom. His ability to not give a single fuck about society and justice went out the window the day after he was taken to the shed and raked by one of the best divorce attorneys in the city. This made the man bitter and cold inside, becoming more of a legal robot than an actual man. This also lead to Chad having one hell of a winning streak as he started to take his frustrations out on the DA and any witness he tried to fling at him and his clients. Grilling cops on the stand was starting to become a sport to Chad, as he soon became the most hated man according to all branches of law enforcement. It got to the point where district attorneys were looking for excuses to not face him in court, citing conflicts or creating them to pass the case onto some other sucker. This no nonsense approach was very appealing to clients who needed someone in their corner who didn't care if they did it or not and paid handsomely for his services. It got to the point where the firm gave Chad a corner office, not only cause he was bringing in so much business, but because he needed to be separated from the rest of the lawyers because his negativity was starting to sour the office. The firm gave him a nice raise but were afraid to make Chad a partner, fearing his new status would only make him a bully. Thankfully for the brass, Chad didn't give a shit if he made partner and wanted just the money. Alimony didn't pay for itself and that was the only thing that made him happy that year. Yet it wasn't until a big assault trial of a well known politician in town that caused Chad's life to come to a crossroad concerning his life. The councilman was being charged with assault, for slapping around a bouncer for telling him he wasn't allowed inside the bar and had to wait in line. It was during the trial where things got out of hand. The bouncer was testifying and telling his side of the story, when he started to make some claims that the councilman thought were not true. He stood up to make his thoughts known, which upset everyone in the courtroom.

     "That's a bald faced lie!" He called out while standing up to be heard.

     "Mr. Barrington," the judge called from the bench, "Could you please try to control your client."

     "Yes, your honor." Chad called back. Then without any warning, he turned around and punched his client in the stomach. All the councilman could do was exhale loudly as the wind was completely knocked out of him.