attraction // na jaemin

t h i r t y • f o u r

It has been 2 weeks since Sanha disappeared. I have no clue where he is. Even Rocky is out of sight. I don't know what to do.

And that made me worried so much.

Me and Mina eventually made up and decided to not speak to each other ever again. She will not interfere my life anymore. How about Yejun and the others? They got expelled.

I've asked Jeno where Sanha went and be doesn't know either. I asked the teacher and she won't tell me a thing.

And that made me goddamn pissed.

And if you're wondering about me and Jaemin, we're still mad at each other. I don't have enough courage to talk to him.

Every time me and Jaemin passed by, he always let his gaze away from me. I'm still wondering if he's still mad at me or maybe keeping grudges at me.

Ugh i don't even know anymore.

It's getting closer to my birthday and i'm in this condition where i realized that it's not worth it for me to live. I don't want to continue my life anymore.

I really don't want to do it.

Even though the others gave me so many supports, i still don't feel like living. I'm dead inside. I always do.

"C'mon Eun-ah, you have to be happy! I can't stand seeing you like this." Chenle pouted. I gave him a weak smile as an answer. "I would never be the same again, Chenle-ah. It's not working out for me anymore."

"Aww that sucks. But don't worry, as soon as we get home you'll return to your own self. And that is the Eun i used to know." Chenle smiled. His smile gave me live for some reason.

Smile is always be a cure, but it is also a cover for those who's dead inside. And i'm one of those people.

"How is Mei?" I asked him out of now here. As soon as i asked that, his face turned red. "W-what are you talking about..?"

I chuckled, "I mean how is it to be finally able to talk with her. Like communicate with her how is it like?"

He scratched his neck in embarrassment. "She's.. She is something. She's a sweet girl, i like her." He smiled.

"Yeah i knew that already." I answered. I sighed as soon as i rethink about my life. Why is my life so painfully interesting?

It's so interesting that made me want to die so much. This isn't working out for me. Should i go get drugs?

Should i consume drugs again? Should i consume drugs again so i can run away from the problems i'm facing right now?

And the answer is, "No, i shouldn't do that anymore. I am 100% done with all of those shits." I murmured.

Then a gasp can be heard beside me. "Good grief Eun did you just say some bad language?" Chenle asked, putting both of his hands on his chest like he was shocked.

"Don't be so overdramatic about it, we all swore so don't worry about it." I simply said.

"I don't. Swearing isn't my thing." Oh yeah i forgot, they don't swear. What a good kid.

"Is there anything i could do to make you feel better? At least for once, i want to see your smile again. We all do." He said. I shrugged as an answer. "I don't know, you tell me."

"I got an idea! Let me take you to my favorite book store. Not only books, but they have a lot of dragon ball action figures too!" I chuckled as soon as i heard the word 'dragon ball'.

He really put so many interest towards dragon ball huh?

I nodded happily as a yes. He smiled and took my hand. It is after school so no, we are not skipping school.

Instead of going for the exit, he took me to Renjun's class. "Why are we here?"

"I'm going to ask Renjun hyung if he wants to come with us." He knocked the class door. Renjun and his friends turned their heads towards us.

"Hyung, come with us to the book store we used to visit!" He said loudly. He doesn't really care about the amount of eyes staring at him isn't he?

Renjun smiled and nodded. Renjun bid goodbye to his friends and ran towards us with a big smile plastered on his face.

•••

"I told you math is more important for me." Jeno cuss. Seriously he needs to stop with this math thing, i'm getting tired of it.

"Yeah, like you're going to remember all of the formulas." I said.

"Ei Jaemin, don't you dare underestimate me. I am the king of math!"

I look at him weirdly. "Well i mean after Archimedes of course." He said. "Dude, you can't even solve the first question of the test."

While we're walking, i accidentally bumped into someone. And that cause all books the person was carrying fell to the ground. "I'm sorry!"

I immediately kneel and help the person by stacking the book one by one. When i'm done, i took all the books and give it back to..her?

"I-it's okay, thank you for the help." She smiled and immediately walk away. Is she new?

I furrowed my eyebrows while standing back up. "Well someone being clumsy." I can hear Jeno laughing.

"Jeno-ah, who's that girl?" I eventually asked. "Oh that? You don't know her? She's the top 5 most beautiful students in here." Oh really?

"Top 5? I never knew about that.What is her name?" I asked again.

"Her name is Soojung, she has a brother named Sung Min, the though guy in this school. Every boys in here are drooling over her but no one really have the urge to make a move on her because of her overprotective brother Sung Min. If you're wondering how i know all about her, it's because a lot of boys are always talking about her. But i don't like her, i mean she's pretty but she's not my type." He explained.

"Dude, i only asked you her name not her brother and all of that." I gave him a straight face. "Did Eun make it inside the top 5?" I asked again.

"Sadly no, her current rank is 7. I was hoping she got into the top 5 but no, she didn't." Well that's a bummer. Wait why do i care?

I don't need to care about her anymore, she said so. I don't need to put any effort on caring her anymore because i don't have to. I'm no longer the caring Jaemin everybody used to know.

I'm going to be a cold person towards her and i'm not going to change.