the dark you fear in the night // gawsten

five

awsten sat there and debated with himself the next morning about if he should even contact his dad. maybe he could say his mother never told him? no, he didn't want his mother to get an ear full.

he picked up his phone and looked at the number his mother texted him.

he had no idea what he should do. and that terrified him.

it was eight am, which meant geoff hadn't left for work yet. he debates with himself over if he should call his friend and ask for advice. geoff knows about awsten's problems with his father, and knows about the abuse to a certain extent. he knew his father had beat him, but he didn't know why.

what did he have to lose at this point.

he unlocks his phone and scrolls through his contacts, tapping on geoff's number. awsten pulls his legs up to his knees in an attempt to make himself calm down. 

geoff's phone vibrates across the table, the quiet sound of toxic by britney spears drowning out the weatherman on the channel six news. he put down his coffee mug and picked up the phone, tapping on the accept button and put the phone to his ear. "what's up?" 

awsten's voice was soft as he whispered, "my dad wants to see me."

geoff's eyes widened, "what do you mean he wants to see you?"

"he's been hassling my mom about wanting to see me. i don't know what to do. he told my mom he's changed, but, i don't know. i just need some guidance," awsten pleaded. he didn't want to see his dad due to his chronic nightmares about him, but part of him thought maybe it was a good idea.

maybe his dad did change. 

"do you want to go?" geoff asked. 

"i don't know," awsten whispered, running a hand in his hair and loosely gripping onto the ends. 

geoff breathed quietly into the phone, thinking of an idea. "maybe," he started, awsten listening closely, "maybe you should go, and if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, you could call me and i'll come pick you up?"

awsten smiled and nodded, "yeah, yeah i'll do that. thank you geoff. i can't imagine where i'd be without you." 

"i'll call you after work, okay? try to relax, love you." 

awsten blushed lightly, "love you too," and hung up. 

the two were best friends, so it was normal for them to tell each other they loved each other. and since awsten came out as gay, that wasn't going to change anything. 

awsten went back and stares at the number this mother sent him and hovers his finger over it. the numbers are highlighted blue and, before psyching himself out, tapped on the number. 

he breathed quietly as the phone rings. he shifts his position so he's facing his coffee table and leans forward on it, gently drumming his fingers on the wooden surface. the phone stops ringing and his breath catches in his throat as he hears his father's slightly angry voice say, "if these are those fucking telemarketers, i don't want to buy a fucking-"

"it's not a telemarketer, it's, uh, it's awsten," he said in barely a whisper.

the line went silent, and awsten's breath caught again. "i guess you got the message i gave your mother?" he asked, his tone completely changing. he went from angry and threatening to kind of soft and almost forgiving.

"yeah, she did. she told me you wanted to see me?" he asked, raising his hand from the coffee table and biting on his fingernails out of a nervous habit. 

his father smiled, "yeah, i'd like that. almost like a family get together, except it's just me and you and we can have a glass of wine or something. you can drink now right?"

awsten was shaken up at just the thought of being alone with his dad again. the thought of him being alone with his dad who was still drinking made him freeze up completely. he quickly tried to snap himself out of it and muttered, "no dad, i'm twenty." 

"holy shit," he laughed, "whatever, it'll be our little secret. wanna come over tomorrow afternoon and catch up? tell me about anyone special in your life?"

awsten rolled his eyes, "yeah, sure, what's your address?" he asks as he reaches under his coffee table to grab a sticky notepad. he jotted down the address his father told him. he realized it was only a few blocks from one of the subway stops in brooklyn, so maybe he would just take the subway there.

"i'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

"yeah, sure. bye dad," awsten said, panic beginning to settle in him as he hung up and threw his phone to the side. 

panic rose inside of him as he realized that he may be walking right into the cause of his nightmares once more.