Don't Let Me Fall Again

Chapter Five - Out and About

Knock, knock, knock.

Groaning, I turned over, trying to ignore that sound. Was it a bird tapping on the window? Ew. I pulled the blankets over my head, hoping that the pervert of a bird would just fly away. What type of bird was it, anyway? The only birds I knew that tapped on windows were the ones in Harry Potter … What the hell? Was there an owl outside my window? Was I being accepted into Hogwarts, even though I was seventeen? Oh my god! Hogwarts is real! I shook my head. Why was I such a weirdo? Sometimes I really worried myself …

Knock, knock, knock.

When was that bird going to realise that I was trying to go back asleep? Pushing the comforter away from my face, I looked at the arsehole who woke me up. It wasn’t even bright out – and it wasn’t a bird, either. It was Mr Ryan Morris. I would’ve preferred the creepy bird. I didn’t even have to try and remember what happened before I fell asleep, because before I was woken up I was having horrible nightmares about it anyway.

Not knowing what to do, I pulled the comforter back up over my face so I didn’t have to look at him. I heard him sigh, and then he pulled it down so he could take one of my hands in his. Biting my lip, I looked at everything in the room except him. I knew eye contact would just make me dissolve into tears, and I didn’t want to start crying all over again. This was so awkward, but I wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence. I didn’t know what to say. I was sorry for everything, but Ryan needed to tell me that he was sorry too. Some of the things he said were just uncalled for.

‘Laura, I’m sorry, so sorry. I don’t know why I said all of that … I’m just being stupid … Can we just forget about it? Come here and give me a hug … I’m so sorry for upsetting you like that. I’m such a jerk …’

‘We’re both jerks,’ I mumbled into his chest, wrapping my arms around him. ‘I don’t mind whether you want to stay in school or not – it’s not my choice. It’s your life, and everything’s up to you. I don’t want to be nagging at you all of the time … So if you want to leave, don’t stay because of me. Anyway, you said it yourself, you don’t have to graduate just to get into college. I’m sure there are other ways … There has to be …’

Ryan muffled up my hair. ‘Don’t worry, Laura, I’m not going to leave. Why would I want to leave if I’m missing out on time to be with you? I’m not going anywhere, and even if Travis is locked up in prison, it doesn’t mean that I’ll just stop protecting you. I have two people to protect now, and if anything happened to either of you just because I was being stupid, well, I wouldn’t know how to live with myself. I know how important school is to you, and I want to be like you. I’ll endure the torture,’ he laughed.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to leave?’ I asked, feeling guilty.

‘Have you changed your mind, or something?’ he chuckled. ‘Nah, I’m staying. Oh, and don’t worry, the decision isn’t only based on you, so there’s no need to feel guilty, Laura.’

I bit my lip, looking up at him. ‘Are there any subjects that you might want to change … ?’

His smile faded from his face briefly. ‘No, I’m fine … I’ll try my best to like chemistry … Anyway, I can get a part-time job, or something, and just keep saving up … Right, well, it’s two o’clock in the morning … Are you tired enough to fall back asleep?’

‘Of course I am – I only slept for one person there,’ I laughed, scooting over in the bed so he could lie down beside me, and shortly after that, Ryan was snoring and I was dreaming.

The next morning – actually, make that afternoon – the two of us went downstairs to find the sitting room packed with our Irish and American friends, Sinead and my uncles Cormac, Finbar, Colin and Hugh. Frowning, I looked over at my sister, who grinned.