Perfect

•Ten•

M Y R A

Strands of my hair fall away, like dead leaves plucked from branches.

Once I finish, I decide to wash my hands. I take my time, letting my hands turn red under the hot tap water and staring at my reflection. I look older. Maybe it's my newly-cut hair, which hangs to just past my shoulders as opposed to the waist length pony tail I had less than an hour ago, or maybe it's just that I wear all Tris and her friends have done to me as a mask.

But I don't want to become a shell of a person because of that. Perhaps I already am.

***

"When did you get this?" Al, my best friend, asks as he looks at the hat I put on this morning to hide my hair. It's as if his eyes glow with content when he comes to a realisation. "Wait.. isn't this mine? I've been looking for that!"

Al attempts to take it off, but as soon as his long fingers touch the furry ball at the top, I instantaneously tug at the rim of the hat to keep him from pulling it off.

Al holds his hands up defensively. "Calm down, Myra."

"I am calm," I say without lifting my eyes from the floor.

"What's gotten into you?" He ducks down to my level so that he can see my face. As I look into the eyes I have trusted for so long, I decide that, after all these years of his allegiance to me, he at least deserves to know what's going on.

"I cut my hair," I say under my breath.

"You what?"

"Last night. Scissors. Hair." He looks at me, bewildered, so I add, "You know.. Snip snip."

"You- Myra, why? Why would you be so reckless?"

"I wasn't being reckless. I was being.. I don't know." I shrug as I press the heels of my hands to my forehead. "Reasonable, I guess."

"Myra, I don't understand you sometimes. One minute you're so, so happy and now.. Right now you're just-"

"I'm never happy, Al. Never. And I'm not asking you to understand because I don't expect you to." Slowly, I stretch my arm above my head and pull off the hat, and I start to feel slightly exposed.

"I feel broken. And it's all because of that bitch and he even bitchier friends," I spit.

"Myra-"

"No." A single, hot tear trails down my face and burns my skin. Without meaning to, I raise my voice. "I can't take it anymore!"

"If Tris or Christina or Marlene or anyone does anything during school then just come and find me! I've told you a million times before."

"It's not that simple!" I let my hands flop to the side so fast that I almost lose my grip on the hat in my hand. "Remember the time when Edward stuck up for me? He interfered with Tris and she didn't like it and now look where that got him!"

"I think you're overreacting, Myr-"

"He has to have appointments with the school guidance councillor. He has to take pills because he's developed some sort of depression. He walks around school with his head down and his hood up and his hands in his pockets. That's where interfering got him. There's no escape. Not at school. Not at home."