The Forbidden Door

Scrub a dub dub, three men off the port side

Okay, I got half the runway clean. I'm totally soaked in blood and dirt. I'm chucking bodies off the side of the ship. A few seagulls take a shit on the clean part of the runway. I kill all six of them. I'm gonna be eating good tonight. I'm scrubbing the crap off the runway when I hear the familiar sound of a helicopter. I grab my rpg and aim to the sky. I see an unmarked Blackhawk B-7245 rocket bird hovering over my ship. I grab my macro binoculars. I see a rope ladder fall to the runway. There is a tiny girl climbing down. I know exactly who it is. It's the most famous merc in the entire world. KP-284. No one knows here real name. I grab my mini gun and get ready. She drops the the runway. She somehow doesn't see me. She has her famous .500 magnum revolver with the 11 inch barrel out and cocked. Hehe, cock. Sorry. She turns around and almost shits herself. I start the barrels up. They get to the fire speed very fast. That new motor is dope. She puts a .500 special round in my shoulder. Then another one in my other shoulder. I laugh. She looks at me like I'm insane. Which I am. I put about 6 million rounds in her chest before she can even blink. I tractor be the chopper to the landing pad. It touches down and I kill the pilot. Sweet, a new ride. I grab some tweezers and rip the bullets out of my shoulders. I scream "FUCK" as loud as I manage. The echo is awesome. I throw my guns down and grab my mop again. I start to clean the other end of the runway. It takes me about 5 hours non stop. I go to the med bay and bandage myself up. I lost a lot of blood. I hobble to the fridge. I grab a fan of blood and chug it. I grabs two more and chug them both. Then I grab and IV bag and fill it with a can. I put the IV into my arm and the can of blood is gone before I can even lift the bag up. I take it out and drink one more can just for good measure. I hear a thud on the runway. I mutter fuck. I grab my mini gun and armor. I wander out to the runway and see the biggest package I have ever seen. I grab my machete and start to open it. I hear a ticking sound. I open it all the way. It's my nuke. BUT OF COURSE IT GOT SET OFF DURING DELIVERY. I grab the disarm button I bought and pressed it. THANK FUCK IT WORKED. I lug it to the launch site. I totally pass out. I haven't slept in maybe 7 days straight. I wake myself up and hobble into my room. I pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow. And then I woke up 7 days later.