A Light in the Life

Chapter 2: In my own time

Disclaimer: I don't own copyrights on the story or characters featured in Gilmore Girls, however I have a fertile mind and a fan orphan heart.

A/N: How about this beginning? I think it's time to make things more complicated.

CHAPTER 2: IN MY OWN TIME

Emily was still staring at me and I couldn't bear to show any reaction. How does she know that? I thought. I couldn't believe mom had told her when I said very clear that I wasn't ready to discuss this to anyone. Unbelievable.

Emily's eyes looked as if they were about to pop clean out of their sockets. The curl from her lips was worse than I imagined. I was still petrified and my lack of words increased her impatience. Her authoritative tone clearly rang her complaints, demanding an explanation until I wished she would go back to keeping her voice down.

Thawing out of my frozen state, I scanned the scenery around us. It felt as if the whole town was watching us — I, almost naked in my mom's door facing my grandmother yelling about how inconsiderate I was for keeping my ultimate dirty secret from her. Clearly not happy, she managed to successfully engineer a masterful, dramatic street show.

The small crowd outside the house began to gather. Babette and Taylor were amongst them, gathering juicy material to talk about behind my back. I swore they almost couldn't quell the excitement on their faces by hearing the latest hot news, but at the same time - felt sorry for me. Why do these things happen to me? I asked myself. Yeah, I should've know I couldn't expect much from those blabbermouths anyway, but my eyes also met Lane's and a guilty feeling started to swell up inside me. Oh crap! Even I, would have trouble forgiving myself. Keeping this from Lane was a hard decision to make. I didn't want to talk about it, with anyone while I wasn't safe and I was too scared to be judged by everyone stood glaring at me.

I knew I should have told her before and I definitely had the opportunity. Seeing the puzzled feeling on her face stabbed me in the chest, a real physical pain. I'd known Lane forever and that definitely wasn't the way I wanted her to find out, or the whole freaking city for that matter.

Although all this was happening in a mere flash of seconds, it seemed like an eternal humiliation, leaving me restless and irritable. I knew I'd screw up by not telling Emily and my best friend the truth like they deserved, but this public freak show was completely ridiculous and already had gone too far.

"Grandma, shut up!", I screamed back. Emily was bewildered and slightly offended. Her lethal stare felt painful and piercing, as if her glare was tearing my heart apart with a blinding teal light.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and felt her tense skin beneath my fingers.

"I know you're very angry right now and you have every right to be, but please let's take this conversation inside?" I took the situation under control and gave one last hard look to all of the outsiders. Some people scattered, embarrassed. Others waited until I slammed the door behind me.

Emily walked mute into the house stamping her feet; the lack of air between us was almost suffocating me. Okay, I knew this moment would come eventually, but I would deal with Lane later, she was the one who really mattered to me, not the others. Privacy never was Stars Hollow's biggest virtues.

I took a deep breath and looked to my grandma, standing still next to the couch with a desolated look. I could swear that something about her expression was haunting, as if she had any kind of hope this wasn't true before, but that was completely shattered. Mom probably wasn't the one who told her, she would be sure.

"Grandma, how did you find out?" I dared to ask.

"Well, Rory..." Emily sighed. She paused her voice dramatically, closing her eyes.