He wonders what they are, Jungkook's sure that they aren't friends because for sure friends don't kiss, friends don't confess their feelings, and surely friends don't flirt with each other through messages. He's also convinced that both of them aren't in a relationship, neither one of them asked each other to date. He's confused, deciding if they should go on a date and finally ask the older to be his, but what if the other male doesn't like him back. Jungkook is only young he never been in a situation where they both share feelings through letters. People may think that this whole thing going on between them is such foolishness that they both like to playing in, Jungkook thinks so too. He likes Taehyung so much (possibly even love him), but why does it feel like there's a big gap between them. It hurts whenever he thinks Taehyung may never be his in the future. Maybe, Taehyung will find someone better and Jungkook will never know about it. Their 'relationship' can go in many different ways, so much possiblity of going wrong, but also right.
This 'thing' that Jungkook considered special is it nothing to Taehyung? He doesn't know, he don't fucking knows, and it's frustraiting. Thoughts like these are confusing to him.
"Jungkook?" A friend of his questioned,"Are you okay? You've been zoning out the whole time we're together."
"Yes, Hyung. . . I'm alright," Jungkook confirmed and glanced at his older friend, Jin.
Jungkook glanced at the two couple infront of him. Jealousy taking over his system. Who wouldn't be jealous? Namjoon and Jin are the perfect couple that everyone admires. They're perfect for each other, they're each other's other half. He also wished he had a relationship with someone he would loves.
"Is it Karma?" He thinks, from all of the relationship and one-night stand he had, is it all paying off? The only certain person he has feelings for is someone he talks to the least, the one he communicates to letters. Letters that can never explain how he truly feels for this certain boy; feelings that he couldn't even explain through millions of paragraphs.
"Is it Taehyung?" Namjoon finally spoke.
"Yes, definitely him." Jungkook says, he ruffles his hair in frustration. "He still haven't responded to me. . . for 2 fucking months!"
"Maybe," Namjoon paused, glancing at his lover. "Maybe he's just busy Jungkook. Have you tried messaging him again?"
"Yes, Hyung, for about ten fucking million times." Jungkook says.
"Yah! Jungkook watch your language young man!" Jin snapped, shaking his head in disapproval.
"You know what," The brunette mad stood from his chair, "You guys enjoy your date. . . I'm gonna go home instead."
----
He woke up from a nap about a minute ago. He's basically starring at his wall, thinking. Thinking of Taehyung and what they are. The young male glanced at his wall clock, it was quarter to six. He's been sleeping for about two hours and a half.
"I have no more food. . . I should groceries with Jin-hyung soon." He told himself, silently.
He grabbed his jacket beside his study table as soon as he stood up from his bed. Suddenly building enough energy to buy something from the store.
He looks so wreck right now. Messy hair, dark circles under his eyes, and he's basically wearing baggy sweat pants and hoodie. He went from that bad boy looking boy to a homeless person strolling through the streets. This, this is what his hyung cost him. . . a mess.
He's eating his ice cream when he suddenly hearted a familiar voice. He didn't care much about it, maybe, it's one of those people he played with in the past. "Jungkook?" The person might've finally recognize his presence. But Jungkook still didn't budge from eating his food.
"Jungkook, it's me. . . Taehyung."
"What are you doing here, hyung?" He asks, somehow irritated by the latter's presence.
"I was just," Taehyung's voice echoed l, the younger male can hear fear from his voice, but fear from what? Isn't he suppose to be happy? Happy to finally see Jungkook after 2 months of disappearing like some kind of dust.
"Just what?" Jungkook asks, still not bothering to turn his head to the latter. He doesn't want Taehyung to see him mad.
"I was with my boyfriend," Taehyung whispers, loud enough fro Jungkook to understand.
"Boyfriend?" Jungkook finally snaps his head to Taehyung. Seeing another male standing beside him, holding hands. It was painful, for Jungkook. It was like every hope he had finally crumpled down. All the tears he wasted for him and now the older will return the favor with something more painful than ever. The worst feeling he had ever experienced after years recovering from it. The feeling he had when he met his first love.
The boy that Taehyung is with looks handsome. Better than him at least. They look perfect, they suit each other even if it pains him to admit it. Maybe this was the payment of him playing with people's feelings for four years.
"Jungkook, this is Minho, my boyfriend." Taehyung slightly smiles. "Minho, this is my. . . friend, Jungkook."
"Hi, Jungkook. It was nice finally meeting you." The guy, Minho says. His smile is even perfect, Jungkook chuckled in despair. A smile drawn to his face, but he wore the fakest one that he can crate "I'm also glad I could meet you Minho, but I really need to go."
Jungkook stood up from his chair. Smiling to the couples infront of him, "I'm glad you're finally happy, Hyung. I really am." Jungkook didn't think twice of hugging the older. Smelling his scent one last time before he let go of him. Then, he left them.
He smiles, in pain. Eyes blurry from the tears blocking it. It hurts to smile, it hurts to do everything when you're broken inside. The guy he might have loved never loved him after all. He was right, he was fucking right all along, but this stupid hope he built up destroyed him after all. The years he avoided the feeling of being broken came back to make him taste what it means after four fucking years. Tears that hurts to let go. The tears that touches his cheeks, it burns.
He did it again. Faking his emotions as if everything was alright. Faking a smile is like the most painful lie, but it is the most affective way to hide from all the questions. He remembers what his mother once said, he has the prettiest smile, the prettiest eyes, and the most kindest heart; but behind all those, his smile can hide his deepest secret, those eyes can cry the most tears, and specially his kind heart can feel the most pain.
A/N: This isn't good at all.. Omg.. I haven't updated for so long.. Forgive me. I have no motivation until now. I hope you like this, even if you think it's trash.. I tried my best to get motivated, and I hope you like it..
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