Beeswax

summer fling aftermath

I wonder if my voice ever resonates within your head

I hope it does.

I hope it screams so damn loud that you

can no longer think your own thoughts

but I hope that screaming falls like music in

your ears even when she tries to get your attention

I've gotten past the point of hating you.

at least I think I have

I want you to be happy but only if I

can be that happiness

only if you find yourself smiling but it falters

because you hear my laugh and it causes

your heart to break and your gut twist as if a

thousandandonekniveswerestabbingyouall atonc-

I'm sorry. I got carried away.

I wonder if she kisses your lips with all she has to give

as if she were trying to place her very soul

into you just to prove her worth

I wonder if you ever gasp into her mouth

and whether or not she devours it and

stores the memory for later

or if she coughs you back up as if you were

rotten and the taste of your being coated

her throat thick enough to make her choke

the way I should have spit you out when I had the chance.

you ruined green eyes for me you know

they used to be my favorite

even before you came along

but now every time I catch them and lock

into a stare a fire starts within me

not the good kind

not the kind that shouts passion

but the kind of fire that only means anger

crackling along your skin as if it were its

own living entity

green eyes used to make me think happy thoughts

of things like forest and birth and fairies chasing sprites

now they only conjure images

of vile beast waiting to be slayed

of ghost who never really had