Mystical High

Chapter 4: Ending It All

"Hey."

"Who...Are you?"

A faint image of a boy around my age appeared before my eyes. He had spiky hair and wore a classy long black coat that shone beautifully with his well-polished boots in the dim light. His looked so grand, and I felt an instant strong feeling in my heart. I was sure that my heartbeats accelerated. However, no matter how hard I tried to concentrate, I couldn't see how he looked like.

"Welcome to Mystical High."

Mystical High? What the hell was that?! I had never heard of such a highschool!

"What...The heck are you saying?"

"I'm Jackson Agrizon. Nice to meet you."

Before I could even answer, everything went into a blur. Jackson disappeared, followed by a gleam of shining bright light. Unable to bear with the sickening rays of light, my eyes fluttered open. It was the light from the ceiling.

It was a dream. A weird one.

"Are you okay, dear?"

My gaze directed to Mrs Rose, who was sitting beside me with a worried expression plastered on her face. Staying silent, I scanned my surroundings- huge windows and a table at the end greeted me. Tubes were inserted into me and I was wearing a plain green coloured pyjamas. A doctor stood behind Mrs Rose. I was in the hospital.

"I'm...Fine..."

"Your condition seems more stable now. You probably fainted due to too much stress. It's good to see that you have awaken after being admitted here yesterday."

"When can I be discharged?"

"No worries. You can be discharged tomorrow. I'll go and check on the other patients."

Everything went silent after the doctor left the ward. I could feel Mrs Rose' worried stare on me. I didn't know what to say. Neither was I interested to say anything.

How I wish, I died in my sleep.

"Jewel darling... You are a bright student, I know it. It's just-"

"Can we not talk about this?"

I turned away and looked at the view outside the window. People were streaming in and out of the shops in the streets. Families were laughing and enjoying one another's company. A lone tear slipped down my cheeks as thoughts of my family appeared in my mind. After Mother died, Father became really depressed, and started drinking all sorts of beer to lessen his pain. Under so much pain and pressure that was hard to bear with, he became lost in his own world of pain and beer. He became an alcoholic.

Even though he didn't care about me anymore, I still showed him my grades everytime the results were out. I failed two subjects in Semester One. I totally did not expect myself to fail again when I had worked so hard. I didn't want to face Father. I wanted to pry myself away from reality. Thinking about death just because I failed one subject seemed ridiculous, but I had led so many people disappointed, and it was hard to keep hearing comforts for the whole year. Like everyone else, I was just an ordinary girl, I can do things like them! Why did I have to gain so much sympathy from people? What had I done wrong to deserve such a life?

"Rest well, Jewel. I'll come and fetch you home tomorrow."

With that, Mrs Rose left the ward.

I couldn't help but pity her for having such a student like me.

I closed my eyes, and let myself fall into a deep sleep. The only way to keep myself away from all these pain was to sleep. I silently wished that I would die in my sleep again.

Well obviously, I didn't die.

I woke up to the sound of the door opening in my ward. Mrs Rose came into my line of vision. She flashed a warm smile upon seeing me awake.

"It's time to get changed and go home."

After a while of packing, we were all set to go home. Mrs Rose offered to drive me home, so I quietly accepted. We didn't talk in the car at all. Maybe she didn't know what to say, and so was I. All I did was stare at the rain drops pelting onto the car window. The weather seemed to understand how I felt.

After what it seemed like an eternity, we finally reached the place which I called home. We took my stuff to my home and Mrs Rose was ready to leave once again. She knew about my family problems, and had been trying to help me for the whole year. I was deeply appreciative of her kindness and care, and wanted to show her my gratitude, but I didn't know how. Before she left, I turned to face her and said something that I had never said to her that year.

"Thank you."

Mrs Rose smiled and said, "Have a good rest. It's the weekend. I'll speak to you on Monday again." With that, she started the car and drove off. Watching her car become smaller and smaller until it resembles a tiny speck of dot, I whispered sadly, "I'm afraid there is no more Monday for me..."

Stepping into the house, the strong smell of beer greeted me. I grimaced in disgust. Everything was in a mess- Beer cans were thrown everywhere, and the floor had a puddle of beer on it. Simply messy and disgusting. There wasn't a single sight of anyone. Father was obviously not at home. I stepped into the kitchen and took out a knife with a sharp and shiny blade.

That was it, the day I would end my life. After doing that, I wouldn't need to feel all those pain anymore. Neither did I need to gain those stupid sympathy again. I would be free. However, it was either I die or not. If I did not manage to kill myself completely, I would be left wounded and sent to the hospital. I would then gain more pity and even worse, the adults would probably find a psychiatrist for me! But if I succeed in death, everything would be fine, not like my dad cared anyway.

When I was about to slice the artery on my neck, I thought of the words my mother said.

"Promise me you'll live happily for me."

"I promise."

Memories of the day my mother died played in my mind over and over again.

My mother... My dearest mother... The best angel in my life... Why did her words have to appear in my head now?! Those feelings of love. I couldn't break her promise, could I? Tears started trickling down my cheeks. They weren't the tears of pain. They were the tears of regret that I had let my mother down again. I eyed the reflection of myself holding the knife in the mirror. It felt weird to see myself at this state, with a life-threatening object wrapped in my hand. That wasn't me. The real me used to have so much flames of faith and hope ignited within me. This couldn't be the end, could it? Had the flames of faith and hope died out?
I put the knife back to where it was, and locked myself in my bedroom, thinking about life seriously for the first time.