Silence

Sob Story

Alright. I promised a few days ago to tell you about he conversation that set me off. First I have to tell you the back story.

First off, let me tell you about my current boyfriend. (so sorry to that specific person who knows exactly what happened. I love you!!) Let's say his name is Derick. So, you see, Derick had been dating one of my best friends. It wasn't that serious. (Again, sorry! But it's the truth!) They dated for about a month. She had some crazy idea that he was cheating on her. (We are both to young to be officially cheated on BTW) They fought a lot and eventually broke up. I felt stuck because I had been his friend for several years, and hers for a couple of months. Don't me wrong, I love her just as much. She bad mouthed him ans I felt bad. A lot of the time he would ask me if she was okay. If she would forgive him. This kind of hurt me considering I was totally head over heels crushing on him. But in the duty of a friend I tried to aid there relationship. It was fixed once but not for long. So here we go in the place of three weeks ago:

I was sitting with my normal friends, including... we'll call her Sally (my friend that was dating Derick) Okay, so it was all of us. So Derrick's bestfriend- we'll call him Lee, said that Derick said that he would rather date a girl that we we'll call Shanna, over me. I just brushed it off for a couple of minutes. I think everyone pretty much knew the whole tension between me an Derick. I couldn't really leave so I put my head down. I tried to fight back tears but they were suddenly streaming down my face. Everyone was telling Lee what a jerk he was and Derick just sat there. He didn't say a word. When the bell rang I quickly got out and as far away as I could. I had to go to class.

I got into class, and it was our team day. All the girls went in one room to watch a movie. I couldn't seem to stop my tears. I curled up. I had a panic attack. It was horrible. All of my friends surrounded me and tried to call me down. They sang funny songs and stroked my hair. I never lifted my head up until the day ended. Shanna wanted to know what happened. I tried to tell people not to tell her because I had been trying really hard to be friends with her. I didn't want her thinking I was mad at her. Then the day ended.

I got home and several people texted and called asking if I wanted to talk about it. I was so stressed. I eventually just ignored everything. It was the beginning of winter break and it was bad. I decided after a week of Derick texting me asking me to hear him out that I would answer. Apparently, Lee heard him wrong. He had always like me. I felt 99999999999999 times better.

So currently, I ha e been dating Derick for only a couple days. Since the fight I had with Sally, Shanna has completely ignored me and my attempts to be friends. It's really lowering my self esteem.

Sally,

I really wanted tto be friend with Shanna. But all she has done is ignore me and make you leave my conversation with you. But if she ever decides that I'm good enough, let me know.