Idk how I feel about my relationship sometimes. There's days where it's amazing and you really understand why you fell in love. Then there's days where you wonder what the hell went left that's causing problems. I'm an open person so I don't mind speaking how I truly feel about my girlfriend Sonya( whom I've mentioned in previous writings) So during the time I deleted the app and up until now I've been in a relationship for almost 3 months. This is the second relationship I've ever been in and the first since I broke up with my ex Kayla in April( 2 days before my birthday). So heading into this relationship I wanted to avoid doing everything I did to cause that relationship to crash and burn. However that has not been easy because there are parallels between the two. With Kayla it was always a speak on her terms type of deal and whenever I wanted to really talk I was told "I don't feel like talking" or she would be doing something that required me to essentially wait past the time I wanted to talk to her. With Sonya it's similar to that but she does the thing where she feels guilty sometimes which Kayla never did. Sonya will do it and then apologize because I guess she knows I'm too forgiving of a person to be mad at her. Not to say my relationship isn't going good right now or anything right now, because it's holding steady. There's just times where I'm just like do I really wanna go through being in another relationship where I feel like I am putting in too much effort? But there are also good times when we both can actually be on the same page. Days where she listens to me. Days where I can relax because I don't feel like a pest always around her. Days where she shows me how much she loves me. There are a lot of good days that I wish we could always have but I understand no relationship is that perfect. Tomorrow actually makes 3 months for us (September 28th) and I definitely want us to grow with each other and continue to love one another. I thought I was in love with Kayla while we were together but that was really just lust and attachment. With Sonya it doesn't always feel like that. I can say what I usually want to and not worry about losing her. We can have new conversations all the time and keep it fresh. When we're together it's like we've known each other our whole lives and I feel like she could truly be the soulmate I was destined to fall in love with. What I've been searching for my whole life... There's definitely bumps in the road that need to be fixed sometimes but I can honestly say I am settled on the woman of dreams and am not looking for anyone else. I love her so much.
