Pieces

Thursday

Chapter Seven

Thursday

You sprung a series of what if's and if only's and sometimes when you

were at the end of your existence, you occasionally mentioned the I

wondered's, and at times like that, where I became a distant thought

to you, I questioned myself if I had made the decent choice in falling

for you.

I was left bare with no harness or a bit of net to secure me if I ever

had the mishap to fall, and instead was falling freely into a part of

something that I hadn't fully prepared myself for.

I hadn't fully prepared myself for you.

Thursday, the day where you struck me, where for the first time, you

laid your hand on me and not faintly for an intimacy reason. You

bruised me in soreness as I spoke about a male companion of yours,

complimenting the loveliness of his eyes and how they would bring

happiness to someone.

You immediately found that distasteful and began to throw around the

''maybe you should be with him'' or ''why don't you fuck him'' and

then out of spite, you brought your hands towards my face and struck

my cheek, knocking me back in a stunned state. I gasped for air as you

stood there emotionless.

You never once apologized or consoled me, you decided to leave me weak

and aching in confusion as I covered my face with my hands and weeped.

I told you to say something, anything, whether it was one meaningless

word or a sea of ongoing sentences, but you never said anything.

You were silent and distant and as I stuck out my trembling hand to

feel the warmth of yours, you brought it against your chest and

mouthed no.

I was nothing as the life we once had shattered into imaginary pieces,

unable to be found and mended back together. Tears caused by you fell

from my eyes as I witnessed you step back and I begged you to stay but you instead fled away.

You gave up on me, but I never gave up on you.

Through the countless sunrises and mesmerizing sunsets, I patiently

sat by the door invisioning the moment you would return to me,

imagining a string of endless words we would exchange, but you never

appeared.

I was knee deep in denial thinking of the day I would

finally see your beautiful eyes, but you never showed up.

I was not myself after the disappearance of you.

I turned myself into a canvas, having a blade as my brush and my blood

as the paint, adding new pieces to the collection with each and every

passing of the day.

I swallowed my pride unwillingly as I curled up one last time by the

door for you, covering every inch of my bare skin masking away the

wounds you've caused.

During the last hours of the night as I became

weary, you drunkenly stumbled through the front door and relished on

how you ravished around town passing the sweet breath of yours into

the mouths of others. You then collapsed onto the floor drawing blood

from your nose due to the impact and laughed as you pestered me about

the abuse you inflicted on me.

You were somewhat proud of what you did.

I stumbled over towards you and directed you through the hallway as I

pushed you into the bedroom and onto the bed then untied your shoes.

You started to mumble various names of men and then smiled as I

undressed you and stuck a bucket by the side of the bed.

You were a different person not the person who was the man I had fond

over back in the dandelion field, you were the opposite of him, a dark

and careless man and I was scared.

I wanted Louis back, I wanted to

hold him in my arms, I wanted him to kiss my scars and save me.

As I said good night, you scoffed and slurred three words that made

the world deafen around me and brought the formation of tears in my

eyes.

You said I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,

repeatdly before you screamed for me to leave and I felt ashamed that

I couldn't say something and instead left.

As I left, I closed the door and sunk down as I heard you say you

wished you struck me harder, and added towards the end that I deserve

it. I became numb as I tuckered my head inbetween my knees and wept.

I had finally given up on you.