Pieces

Thinking

Chapter Six

Thinking

There was so little to say and so little to witness as there was nothing meant to be said or focused on, all that was to be used was the train of thought.

We masked ourselves in silences as we began to indulge our minds into thinking whether it was something involving the past or near future.

But, thinking for me involved you.

I found you to be wondrous, and not just about yourself but about things, all sorts of things for that matter, whether it was misconstrued as being far fetched or something as small as a seed, you were always thinking.

There was never a dull morning or night where you weren't consumed by thinking, you were hinged to it and unable to release yourself from this door frame attached inside your astonishing mind. There were those days where I was marveling if you were possibly thinking about me, but it never seemed to be the case, because your mind seemed to be elsewhere besides on me.

It was as if I was thinking more of you then you were of me.

If I could, I would spend hours upon hours, even days if I could manage, staring at you from a distance, being drawn to which ever you were doing, you made the simplest things the utmost riveting and beautiful.

But although what you witness on the outside of me may appear as another day of quiet thinking, it does not compare to what is within the inside. You were drawn inside the spaces of my mind during all lengths of the hours, you some how captivated me to the point of obsession.

Every thought involving you, every memory, every flash back resulted in an on going tactic of giving myself pain. I had to rid you away from me, from inside my mind and not allow you to enter it anymore.

You caused me unforgivable pain.

It was a constant snap to the wrist with a rubber band, having welt after welt line up and down my wrist until it pulsed out an inch thick reminder to not be thinking of you. It became bloody and bruised after every session and I tried to hide it away from your concerning eyes, because it was not meant to be shared with the outside world alongside the inside as well.

I seemed to be thinking about you when I try to not think about you because in the mist of it all, thinking was by far our finest quality.

But I can never stop thinking of you and I never will, you will always be chained inside me, slowly consuming my mind until I reach the end.

You were the man inside my thoughts.