My relationship with "art" is weird. I draw a lot, but I hate my drawings. I'll be proud of them as soon as I finish, but absolutely despise them a few hours later. Then again, I found a foolproof way of restoring my confidence.
I found a picture I drew for a project in English class around 2 years ago. Upon seeing it, I may or may not have cringed to the point of death.
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Ugh. That cat girl is an actual monstrosity. Nowadays, I can see that I've made a lot of progress, even if I don't feel it. While I myself hate my drawings, it seems other people don't completely despise it. Which, I guess, makes me happy.
^I am aware that it is not that great a video, but I'm still going to shamelessly self promote my YouTube channel at AramisDraws. And yes, I am vocaloid trash and make bases to use. Deal with it.
BI don't consider myself to be an artsy person. I never have. In fact, it's more likely than not that I'm one of those low-key emo kids who draws to "express feelings". My family actually dislikes my drawing a lot. Since I'm Asian, art isn't a valid career. I'm never going to get the opportunity to do anything with this hobby. When I asked my mom if I could take classes, her response was "sure, but only for fun." Essentially, "that's not a career path so it's worthless."
Basically, I was never supposed to have picked up drawing. I took a few classes as a kid, but after that, I wasn't supposed to be into art anymore. The most proper and expected thing would have been to become another model student who graduates as valedictorian and gets a nice office job as a manager or something.
I dunno, but I don't like where my life is being forced to go. And yet, due to culture, I can't change it. Drawing was sort of my being a rebel. Now, I can't even be caught drawing because it's a "waist of time." Being demanded to show my drawings only warrants a "no improvement, so stop."
It's only in secret that I will keep drawing, no matter how uninspired I feel. I guess it could be a way to let off steam before I explode at anyone. That may or may not be why my temper improved so much between grades 7 and 8.
But yeah, that's my awkward relationship with art.
