War Child--Rogue One

III

I fling the door open.  "Lac!"

"Close the door!" Theron yells, trying to wrestle the latch from my hand.

"No!  I have to find Lac!"  With my friend pulling on the door, I barely squeeze out.  The door slams behind me.

There is a full-scale rebellion in the square and I have no weapons.  Or perhaps that's good, since nobody will suspect me.

I decide that I will retrace my steps to find Lac.  On my way, a block of stormtroopers jog down the road, and I pull into a doorway, half hiding and half just trying not to get trampled into the ground.

Once they are gone, I turn the corner and find Lac, but not in the way I'd hoped.

The body of my best friend lies, sprawled, in the middle of the icy road.

I run over, falling as I grab his shoulders and try to wake him.  His head lolls and blood meanders out of his nose and limp jaw.

I sob, pulling him to me, but when his blood drops to my shoulder, I drop him and stand.

It's too cold on Fest for tears.

I spit into the snow, then screw up whatever courage I have to grab his hands and pull him back to his house.

Nobody is here.  I bring Lac inside, and decide to sit vigil, but Mother will be worrying.

And frankly, I don't like the feeling of sitting by a dead boy.

Even my best friend.

I close the door, locking it, since Lac's father will need to get in but no one else should.  It crosses my mind that I should leave a note, but I don't have a key and the door is already locked.

Father's death wasn't real to me right away.  It took a long time, and I witnessed his death.  But finding Lac dead made it real.  He wasn't sleeping.  He wasn't playing a prank.  He is dead.

My anger against the Empire flares up, and I kick towards a wall, jamming my toe in the process.

The pain is what triggers the flood of tears, and I start to run towards home, nearly blinded.

I run, at full tilt, into a stormtrooper.

"Careful, boy," he snaps.

The officer standing next to him touches my arm.  "Are you alright?"

I put aside my anger to trick him that I'm just a foolish boy, and reply, "I stubbed my toe and-and-and I want my momma!"  Very childish, indeed.

He puts his hand on my head.  "Would you like me to take you home?"

Something about him makes me trust him, so I nod.  He turns, gives a few short orders to the troopers, then places his hand on my shoulder.

He doesn't even ask me for directions.  The officer knocks three times, the same pattern as the bombs, and Mother opens the door.  "Hosmy!"

She takes my hand and his shoulder and pulls us both in.  As soon as the door is closed and bolted, she embraces him.

I go to the corner and begin stripping off my winter clothes.

"How did you end up working for the Enpire?" Mother asks, making tea.

"I applied.  Figured we should have a spy on the inside.  Apparently, I'm too smart to be a snowtrooper."  Hosmy laughs, and accepts the thermos.

I tug another's arm to get her attention, but she ignores me.  "How is Tenielle?"

His face falls.  "Killed, a raid."

"Tuscans?"

He nods.

Mother sighs.

They continue to talk.  Because my mother is ignoring me, I decide to investigate our invited intruder.

He has dark, dark skin, so it surprises me that he is an officer, since most of them are very white.  His thick hat barely contains a bush of black, tightly coiled hair.  His brown eyes dart over to me, and I look away, embarrassed, and interest myself in the wall.

"Camellia, I came here because your son was wandering about in a snow storm right after an uprising.  Do you have any idea why?"

I scowl at him as my Mother replies, "No.  I thought he was at Amya's.  Cassian?"  She turns her terrifying gaze my way.  "Were you in the uprising?"

My feet start swinging as I try to figure out what to say.  No use in lying.  "Yes, Mother."

I expect her to blow up at me, but instead, Hosmy says, "Do you know how unsafe that is?  Your father died rebelling!"

"And so did Lac!"

"Who?"

My voice drops.  "Lac.  I lost him running away, Theron and I did.  When I went out to find him, he was dead.  I brought him back to his home, but Theron was gone too."

Mother rushes over and wraps her arms around me, crying.  I suppose she's crying for me.  I don't feel like crying right now.

"Did Theron have a red scarf?  Is he about your height, dark hair like you?"  Hosmy asks.

I nod.  "How--"

"We took in a suspect today with that description.  I can try to prove him innocent, but anyone they suspect is always condemned.  I'm sorry, Cassian."

I don't respond. 

I should have never left Theron alone. 

I should have made sure Lac was with us. 

I should never have accepted this mission.

I should not have left my father. 

I should not have.

I should not.

I should. 

I should rescue Theron.

I should go, even though I don't have any weapons.

I should go avenge my father.

I should go avenge Lac.

I should die instead of them.

I should have died instead of them.

I stand, and go to wear I had dropped my warm clothes.  Hosmy is speaking to Mother.  Neither of them see me take her blaster and sneak out the back window.

Now, to find where they took Theron.