Perfection † Dennor

Weak

When Lukas opened his eyes again he saw his choregrapher, the maître, and Mathias staring down at him with concerned looks on their faces. He looked up at them with heavy eyelids as he tried to recollect what had happened before he had fallen.  

"He's awake" the choreographer spoke, eliciting a relieved sigh from Mathias. Lukas made an attempt at a response, but the words were stuck in his throat. His stomach rumbled, but he was far too weak to feel any embarrassment, so he simply sat and looked up at the bright lights shining down on him as a medic finally approached to help him out. Lukas had no idea how long he had been laying there, but it mustn't have been more than a few minutes. 

"Lukas, you're going to be okay. Can you look at me please?" the medic asked as she hovered over Lukas's face. In an attempt to cooperate, Lukas trailed his gaze from the lights to the medic,  who lightly grabbed his jaw and propped his head up to place a cushion underneath his neck. After feeling the cushion underneath him, Lukas turned his neck to notice Mathias worriedly staring at him from the other side of the stage. The medic had requested space, so everyone was forced to clear a few feet of space so that Lukas could be inspected. 

"Lukas, when was the last time you ate something?" the medic questioned as she took his pulse.  Lukas made a weak attempt at pushing out a response, but as soon as he parted his lips to speak, everything when black again.

-

When Lukas woke up he was in a hospital bed, with an IV attached to his left arm. The Norwegian furrowed his brow as he tried to remember what had happened before. He remembered he was hungry, and he remembered really bright lights, but other than that, he couldn't piece the puzzle together. 

He looked out of his window for a while, simply staring out at the buildings of Copenhagen as he waited for a nurse to explain to him what was going on. After getting bored of the cityscape, Lukas focussed on his heart monitor, which was hypnotizing as he felt his heart beat in his chest along with the little lines on the screen. After another couple minutes of hypnotic staring, a nurse finally entered his room and gasped when she noticed that he was awake. 

"Mr. Bondevik, how are you feeling?" she asked, watching as Lukas finally tore his eyes away from the heart monitor to look at her. His hair was incredibly disheveled, and his eyes were hollow as he stared back, not knowing how to answer her question.

"I feel small" he uttered raspily, suprising himself with the sound of his own voice. 

"Small?" she asked, not expecting to hear that answer out of the many answers she had recieved from patients in her lifetime. Lukas simply nodded, not knowing how to answer the question further. He felt small. 

As she inspected his IV and all of the other cords he was hooked up to, Lukas took a deep breath and shut his eyes, scrunching his nose as he smelt the alcohol antiseptic that was familiar to all hospitals. Lukas could remember the distinct smell from all the shots he had gotten as a child. Every time a nurse wiped his arm with an alcohol wipe, he knew an injection was coming. This time, when he smelt the alcohol, his IV had been taken out and the punctured area had been wiped with a swab. 

"Why are you taking it out?" Lukas asked, following her movements as she moved the bag of IV fluid solutionand put a bandage on the area where the IV had just been attached. 

"I'm going to have you eat some food, and then after that we're going to run a few tests to see if you're all set for clearance" she explained, going out into the hall for a moment before coming back with some apple juice, toast, and a chocolate chip cookie. Lukas didn't think he'd ever be so happy to see food in his entire life. As she handed him the tray, Lukas thanked her, but struggled to lift his arms to even get the food in his mouth. After the nurse left, Lukas tried for a few minutes and felt himself regaining strength as he focussed on lifting a piece of toast towards his mouth. Once he had finally eaten it, he moved onto the apple juice, and then onto the cookie. When he was finally finished, he felt a million times better than he had before. 

When he had finally regained the ability to speak fully, Lukas began reading the warning labels of the medical equipment surrounding him. He felt entirely better knowing he could speak again without feeling his body collapse from underneath him. After reading all of the nutritional facts on his juice box, Lukas noticed a doctor walk in with a clipboard in her hand. 

"Hello, Mr. Bondevik" she greeted, smiling as she noticed Lukas had finished all of the food the nurse had supplied him with. 

"Hi" Lukas responded, not knowing what to say as he set his tray down on the bedside table. 

"So I'm just going to check your weight, height, blood pressure, pulse, and pre-existing conditions before I let you go. We also need to have a chat about your eating habits and then I will let you go. Sound alright?" she asked, logging into the computer next to Lukas's bed as she prepared to begin testing him. 

"Alright." 

-

When the doctor was finally done checking all his physical symptoms, she handed him a brochure called Eating Disorders 101: When to get Help. As soon as she handed him the brochure he adamantly denied that he had a problem.

"Trust me! This was a one time thing. I eat every day, ask my friend Tino. I just didn't have the time to grab any breakfast I swear!" Lukas stammered, giving the brochure back to the lady as she stared at him, unconvinced. 

"Lukas, you're awfully thin for a man your age. I understand you're under a lot of stress as a principal dancer for a large company. It's quite normal for someone of your profession to have an eating disorder. It's nothing to be ashamed about" she reassured, pushing the brochure back in his direction. 

"I don't have an eating disorder!" Lukas quasi-yelled, this time startling the doctor a little bit. 

"Calm down Lukas, I believe you. But just to be sure, we're going to ask you to log your eating for the next month and come in for a checkup once every two weeks for the next couple months" she explained, handing him a piece of paper from her clipboard.

"If you believe me, why do I have to do this?" he questioned, shooting her an annoyed look as she tried her hardest to seem sympathetic. 

"It's protocal, Mr. Bondevik" she said sternly, sighing as Lukas remained hostile about her accusation. 

After a few more quetions and directions about what to do for the next couple of weeks, the doctor let Lukas go. After changing into a spare change of clothes brought by Tino while he was unconscious, Lukas made his way through the corridors of the hospital towards the waiting room. When he made it to the waiting room he noticed Tino waiting in one of the chairs reading a home improvement magazine. As Lukas made his way over, Tino looked up and shot him a concerned glance. 

"Lukas! Are you alright?" he asked, giving Lukas a weak hug as Lukas stared at white walls of the room with a dread-filled look on his face. 

"I'm fine" Lukas mumbled, his voice still sounding a bit raspy from how groggy he was. 

"Let's get home" Tino suggested, placing a hand on Lukas's back as he guided him towards the exit of the building. 

"Let's."