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"Dear Diary,
This one's not a long one, but it's just a thought that crossed through my mind today. Two months... It's been two months today since the argument with Harry, and everyday is a reminder that it's not going to get much easier, but surprisingly, I'm finally okay. Not a day goes by that I don't think about what he said to me. It's insane how fast yet slow time has gone by. Ever since that day, I haven't seen nor talk to him. He never tried calling, not even a text.
The first few weeks I was a mess, Liam was with me almost everyday comforting me even when he doesn't have to, but he did. He's been the only person to believe me and yet I can't bring myself to feel something for him other than a strong friendship. Entering now the second month of not talking to Harry, I'm still hurting in a way, in many ways. I cried so much.. for days, weeks, nonstop. I'm surprised my eyes didn't dry up. I don't know how I'm not crying now, but I guess I just got tired. I would think that after all that, I would hate him for not believing me, for taking her side and not mine.. Truth is, I love him more than I've ever had.
He's my world, but I gave up on him. I really was pathetic for thinking Harry would see who she really was, but I know how stubborn and naïve my Harry is, yes MY Harry. I wonder if he thinks of me, like I think of him. Is she still cheating on him? Not that it's my problem anymore. They're relationship is all over the media but I hardly even pay attention. Liam taught me to ignore it all, and I did.
God, I hurt for so long, but finally today, after so long, the tightness in my chest is gone and I can breathe normally again. I don't feel the same pain I once did, that achingly, crucial pain that tore me. I see things differently now, life has so much more value than crying over someone who just stopped caring.
I run a lot more now, it's so spiritually cleansing, I go out with a few new friends I made when I went out with Liam a few weeks ago, and vibrantly everything about me has changed in just two months. I matured, I haven't shed a tear in so long and thank god because my eyes were so irritated. I guess being around Harry was just so toxic for me, but that doesn't mean I wanted to stay away this long from him. The fact that he just didn't give a shit anymore broke me at first, but the feeling's mutual now. I don't know if Harry and I will ever be friends again, because as much as I miss him, he hurt me and I just can't forgive him. I dream almost everyday about the kiss we shared and what we could have been. This is a step to recovery from having a broken heart, from just being broken in general. I owe it all to my new best friend, Liam James Payne for pulling me up from my darkest days when I needed someone close to me, he's my rock.
The day the blinds fall from Harry's eyes, and everything comes down, I hope he's strong because after all he's a good guy, and no matter what.. I will always love Harry Styles with all my heart.. xx"
I put the pen down on my bed, as I sit crossed legged jotting down all I've been feeling today. Writing in my diary has become so therapeutic.
I close my diary and get up from my bed, walking over to my new bookshelf. I've also been doing a lot more reading now, and my vocabulary has improved impeccably.
I've done so many things to distract me and rid of negative thoughts. Harry just keeps creeping in there, just like yesterday and the day before that, and everyday before that.
He's always gonna be a part of my life, my silly Harry.
I mostly spent all morning cleaning my house, freshening things up a bit. And after that was done I read some books on my Nook. It's a gift that holds a lot of value for me so I treasure it a lot. It's three in the afternoon and I am lonely, quite bored to say the least.
