The Lost Ones

Chapter 1: Katie

Hell. Absolute Hell. I've been in high school for a month and it's already absolute Hell. School is not the problem. Friends. My friend. Katie. Katie was my best and only friend. She was the only one who knew. Secrets. My secrets. Personal secrets. Katie.

Katie was there. Anytime, all the time. When I lost my dog, when my grandfather passed. She was there. And she was gone.

Not in a sense where she'd come back. She was never coming back.

Katie was dead...

It had been a great fall day, warmer than usual. We were leaving Starbucks walking back to my house. We were going to play video games. When it hit.

It was all very sudden. The car roared passed and hit her, her caramel macchiato flying out of her hand and out onto the car's windshield. They didn't stop. Not once did they turn around to look at her.

Screaming. I was screaming. I ran into the road and looked at her bloody body. I watched as all the happiness, love and life drained from her.

Last words. Her last words. I remember them instantly.

"Chase look at me. If I don't make it, you have to move on. Don't hold back, find someone, Promise me."

"I promise, no one can replace you, but I will find someone."

I get no response. She was gone. I had lost her. I had lost the only one who knew. My secret. The only who had knew....

I was gay.

I had come out to her a few days prior. She had understood and accepted me. Such great memories, such great times. And she was gone.

I couldn't do anything. If only I had I knew. I could've done something. She could have lived. But it was too late. It was over.

Everything afterwards was a blur. I remember the bright lights of ambulances and police cars and how they pushed me out of the way so they could pick her bloodied corpse.

Katie was gone.

I ran home crying after that, vision blurring. I ran past my mom and my brother into my room. I fell on my bed and cried. Usually, I would have called Katie, but I couldn't do that now. I ingored the banging of my mother on the door. Sleep.

I slept for hours. I had dreams where she was still alive and we were doing what we always do. I woke up thinking it was all a dream. Katie was still alive and well and so was I. I grabbed my phone and checked her Twitter.

Nothing.

Her feed was empty. She's usually always tweeting. I started to panic. I called her phone. No answer. She always answers. I realized that this was all real and I cry again. It was real.

Katie's funeral was two days after. It was raining. It was as if the weather knew it was a horrible day. I walk in the church with my mother and my brother and sister. My mom was already crying, while my brother and sister were trying not to, although my sister looked like she was on the verge.

They brought in the casket and at the end, they opened it. Even though she never too tan, her skin was not her typical pale. She was a sickly pale green as her beautiful, long brown hair went all around her. Her lips were chapped and her freckles were way more prominent. She didn't look like what I knew her as.

As looked in her casket, I felt my life crumble to pieces. I stayed there until everyone left and I saw the grounds keeper strolling around.

That night, I tried to end it. I wanted to die because I already felt dead without Katie in my life anymore. I did everything. I tried to overdose, but since no one drinks in my family, except my scumbag of a stepdad, that wasn't going to happen. I tried drinking bleach, but I had none. The last thing I tried was hanging myself. I looked up how to tie a noose and I hung it to my ceiling. I found a chair, stood on it and put my neck in the loop. As I was about to kick the stool, I thought about Katie. She wouldn't want me to do this, she told me to move on. I had to follow her promise.

As tears started to flood my eyes, I took the noose from around my neck. I grabbed the noose and threw it out the window. I climbed into bed and tried to sleep when I realized...

Tomorrow was the first day of school.

Fuck.