A new prespective (a criminal minds fanfiction)

Chapter six: Rebuild

Sitting in the passenger seat of Emily's car I suddenly panicked and jumped out, I ran to Aaron and frantically spoke, "Where's Hayley?" He smiled softly and pointed to Spencer who held her close to his chest. He smiled when he saw me approach him and I returned the favor. His hand reached out for me and I took a step back without realizing what I had done. He suddenly realized and put his head down, "Im sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone." I shook my head wildly. "Don't blame yourself. But Hayley wont be sleeping in her room for a long time, if ever again." He nodded in agreement and handed her over to me. I casually walked back to Emily's car and she smiled softly, "You aren't going with me are you?" Shaking my head I held Hayley closer to me, "What happened, happened. I need to be here. This is my home and nothing can change that." She nodded and put her hands on my shoulder. "I completely understand that. If you need anything call me OK?" Nodding I walked back toward the house and gave hayley to spencer.
Spencer sat next to me on the couch and I slowly scooted away from him. He stared at me and whispered with a hoarse voice, "Nicole it's been almost two months, please can we move on already. You've been staying away from work as much as possible. You know maybe you can go see that therapist that Garcia found you, she's the best" Shaking my head I stood up and walked to the kitchen with spencer trailing behind, "Spence I've told you hundreds possibly thousands of times, I don't need a therapist. I just need time to heal on my own. " He nodded and looked at his feet and whispered, "I know I just cant stand seeing you like this. I can tell when some days are worse for you than others, I can tell when you hurt. I just want to take the hurt away." Gingerly walking toward him I put a hand on him arms and squeezed lightly. Leaning in I kissed him softly on the lips and he smiled down at me when we pulled away. Nodding I turned around and began to make popcorn, " And as for work, I was planning on coming back tomorrow. You just ruined the surprise."

Smoothing out the wrinkles in my pink button down shirt I sucked in a sharp breath and looked at my reflection in the mirror, looking in the background Spencer still lay in bed with Hayley next to him. Since that night Hayley has slept in our bed and her room has remained closed off. Grabbing my gun out of the safe I strapped it onto my belt and sighed. Scribbling that I was leaving early on a sticky note I placed it on the mirror. Walking down the stairs I found my keys and phone. Walking out the door I turned my truck on and it rumbled in the driveway low and deep. The light upstairs suddenly flicked on in my rear view mirror as I pulled out onto the road. Sighing I put down my visor and looked at the photo of Spencer and I holding Hayley. They were my world and nothing could take them away from me.

Walking into the FBI building I threw my laptop bag over my shoulder and sighed deeply. Checking in at the front desk the nice woman smiled and I nodded while keeping my face guarded. Catching the elevator my heart pounded as we rose up the floors. I lost my breath as I saw the glass doors and my hands when numb. Stopping in front of the doors I stared with my arms at my sides. Staring at the dark room I sighed and finally reached for the handle. Pulling the door open the familiar smell hit me causing me to close my eyes. When I did he was there. Parker. All I saw was him, every time I closed my eyes he was there, that same smirk. JJ suddenly sat across from me and I looked up at her with wide eyes. She suddenly stood up and walked toward me. "Nicole your eyes are blood shot, you're pale and shaking. You need to go home." I shook my head and walked to the bathroom in the hallway with JJ trailing close behind me. "JJ I need to get back to work. I haven't been able to walk around my own house these last two months without loosing control. I get so scared in the middle of the night that I cant even sleep in my own bed." She nodded, "Nicole I know that feeling, but you cant let him take that from you, your sense of safety. For Spencer's sake, he hasn't been the same since it happened. He's always on edge. He's the first one to leave everyday because he is racing home to you. If you don't gain it back for spencer please at least gain it back for Hayley. " I nodded and walked back into the bull pen as more people arrived for the day.