Stretch Marks.

Part 14.

Saygun's POV

He was back. I prayed for this moment, and now that it was here, I didn't know what the fuck to do. Hug him, love him, hold him, cry? All of them sounded like viable things to do. But none of them seemed right. Going to get his box of old clothes, that I'd managed to keep and frequently wear, I was at first just going to leave them by the door.

But then I decided to do what I really wanted to do. Taking a quick shower, and changing into some comfortable shorts, and an old T-shirt of his had me feeling better than ever. And after turning off all of the lights, I made my way to his room.

I knocked first and then walked in closing the door behind me. Setting the old box of stuff in the corner of the room, I noticed his eyes following me as I moved about the room. He was under the covers, shirtless, with the tv on. He looked extremely comfortable and relaxed, it was nice to see.

Turning around to look at him fully, I watched him for a moment, before crawling into bed with him. Getting under the covers, I said nothing, just snuggled up next to him with a hand on his chest. I felt him respond a few minutes later, wrapping an arm around me and leaning down to kiss my forehead.

These are the moments that I'd missed. Just being close to him. Being able to touch him. Feeling comfortable knowing that he would protect me. Running my hand over his chest and down his arms, I noticed that there were a couple new tattoos. "When did these get here?" Gently tracing them, I looked up at him.

"When I was in, I had to do something to keep my mind off it. So I got a few tattoos. The chest piece, the cross, and my sunrise storm were already there. Everything else is new. Especially my back."

Looking up at him from my position I smiled a little. "Just tell me there's not a face back there?" I was only half serious, but judging from the look he gave me, I was in for a surprise.

"I'll show you a different day. I'm sure you'll catch me with my shirt off anyway." I laughed a little, because we both knew that his signature trademark. And now that he'd gotten buffer, I was sure to see it. Hell, he was half naked right now, and knowing that alone, was messing with my mind.

Nodding a little, tracing the tattoos I could see from the illumination of the tv, I got comfortable. "I know I haven't said a lot today, but that's because I'm still processing that you're really here. I missed you so much."

"I can tell." He laughed lowly, motioning to my hand, making a joke out of it.

"Shut up." I smiled, looking back towards the tv.

"I'm just saying." I could hear the smile on his lips. "You're all up on me right now. I'm usually the one that likes to touch, but this is new. I like it." He ran his hand down my back.

"Times have changed?" I posed it as a question, turning slightly to see his face again.

"Care to show me how much?"

I playfully swatted his chest at the innuendo. "I am showing you." I cuddled into him more. "This is what I can offer you for now."

He just smiled, catching my eyes when he looked down at me. "Honestly Sage, this is all I want. I just got back, I'm not trying to jump head or dick first into some coochie. Would I love to? Yes. Especially yours..." He smiled like he was reminiscing, but continued speaking face changing to something more serious. "But I also really want to go slow and figure out where our relationship is going."

"I hear you. But you just got out, things are still new for you, there will be a period of adjustment. And I think during that time you should adjust fully. Meet other women. Have sex. Date. Be completely sure about me, before you settle with me."

He looked offended, pulling back slightly. "Settle? I've been thinking about you since prom night. I am sure. I'm also sure I'm not settling."

I sat up a little bit since he'd moved. "I was the last person you saw before you went in. I was the last person that had time with you like that. We were extremely vulnerable with one another that night. But you also reminded me the next day, that that was a one time thing." I nervously drew on his arm, avoiding his gaze. "All I asked for was one time Ely. You gave me that. You don't owe me anything else." 

He smacked his lips. "We both knew that was some bullshit when I said it."

"It didn't feel like bullshit to me. I know we blur the lines sometimes, and sometimes speak very candidly and sexually to one another, but that's not the bulk of our relationship." I met his eyes again. "I don't want you to feel like you have to give me time and access to you. There's more than me out here. We could always go back to strictly friends. That's an option."

I felt the anger in the gaze without even having to look up to meet it, but I did anyway. "That's not an option for me." His eyes were serious. "Why aren't you hearing me?" He shook his head in frustration. "I don't want to go find other bitc— women. I'm not trying to fuck anything. I don't want something quick, or temporary. I want you. Just you, Sage. That's it. I didn't spend the last 3 years thinking about the women I'd come out and have access to, I don't give a fuck about them. I care about you. I was thinking about you and you only."

His look grew in intensity. "I'm here with and for you, Saygun."

He wasn't joking or lying about his feelings. He was being extremely open, more open with me than I'd ever heard him be. Ely was usually quiet. He lived in his head a lot and typically didn't say his feelings out loud. Prison had clearly changed that.

I felt bad. Felt like I'd put my foot in my mouth. "I just wanted you to know all the options, Ely. I didn't say I wanted you to choose them."

"Good. Because I don't. I'm choosing you. But I only want you when you're ready for me. When we're both ready. When you also choose me." He pulled me back down with and into his embrace gently. "We should sleep now. No more deep talks. I saw you yawning earlier. I know this is past your bedtime."

"Just one more question?" I said settling into him more.

"What up doe?" He yawned this time.

"Why didn't you kiss me in the kitchen? You could've. It's what I was expecting."

He looked back down at me, with eyebrows that had a small crinkle in the middle. He gave me a half smirk, tilting my chin up to him, lightly pressing his lips against mine. Once, twice, and a third time. "I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop once I started," he said lowly against my lips.

It took him a long time to pull away this time, like he was actively practicing his resolve. His lips soft and yearning against mine. He was right. It was easier before he started kissing me. Easier for me to pretend he wasn't declaring his feelings for me, and easier for me to ignore the fact that he expected something from me.