shiver shiver // yuri!!! on ice

|9|

they were competing.

for my Victor.

a skating competition, debating over whether he would stay and coach katsuki, or fly back to russia and choreograph for a promised plisetsky. skating to keep skating, to become better and one with the ice through him.

even though it should have bothered me a lot more than it did, there was only one problem on my mind.

where was i going to go?

i pulled Victor aside the day they decided the "historic" skate, near evening when i'd been able to sneak him to a local bar for a quick dinner. he was chatty and cheerful as always, but his arms weren't around me anymore.

"Victor," i muttered, "Vicchan, if you go back to russia, then what do i do?"

he glanced down at me, grinning through his raspberry beer. "with me, of course."

i blinked, my gaze travelling down to the hands in my lap. my hands. when was the last time they had been this cold?

does he really expect me to follow him with no input whatsoever?

my heart was hurt, pounding with indecisiveness. it was more than likely that i would walk where he lead, but that wasn't the point. do i not matter to you anymore, Victor?

"darling?" he whispered, his fingers brushing through my hair. were tears truly running down my cheeks so easily?

"baby-" his voice was raspy, maybe panicked at the way i had broken so suddenly. at the wave my feet were moving before i could ask myself why.

where was i going? where had i been?

home.

and so my legs quit abruptly, my body quivering on the cold concrete of the parking lot. snow collected around my eyelashes until my sadness was one with the white rain.

"darling!"

he was coming for me, my home, the one i couldn't live without. i had become to helpless, so brutally submissive. sobs were taking over me the second before he closed me in his arms, wrapping the beige coat around my shaking form.

warm...

was i better off being cold?

*

lmao i hate myself :)
i keep doing sad things and i gotta stahp-
but HAPPY NEW YEARS :3
Hope 2017 don't kill us
{and will include happy story development-}