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this is a story about a teenager, they have no name, no face, no gender. well, at least that's what it's like for them. this is a story about their battle, fighting depression, that is. this my friends, is what depression is like to them.

Alone

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by caitlinmurray20

by caitlinmurray20

                                    
                                              Many people think that being alone is a bad thing, but I disagree. Being alone comforts me, it always has and it always will. Loneliness seems to frighten some people, but not me, the thought of being alone brings me a sense of safety. When you're alone, you can't be hurt by other people; the only one who can hurt you is you when you're like this.
                          I've always been alone, even when I was a little kid I would spend my time at recess alone. Part of why I did that was because none of the other kids wanted to play with me, but I didn't mind, I actually enjoyed it. Now, as i got older I did start to hang out with others, but I still felt alone. 
                          I've never truly opened up and told my deepest and darkest secrets/fears, which is probably why the feeling of loneliness has constantly haunted me. Many of my friends have tried to get me to open up and ask me if I'm okay, to which I try my best to fake a smile and say, "yeah I'm a lot better now, what about you? Are you doing okay?" I always lie and change the subject because I'm afraid that I'll be judged for my emotions, even if the people I'm talking to have similar experiences. I think part of the reason why I do this is because I'm afraid of opening up, if I open up to them, they'll know more about me and I won't be alone anymore. I'm not ready to let go of this loneliness, not yet.

                          Being alone is what I need right now, and I think that's alright. It's not a bad thing to keep your emotions to yourself if you're not ready to open up to those around you. I'm not ready to let others know how I truly feel, which is why I'm trying out this whole writing thing again. This is where I feel safe enough to let out my emotions anonymously, it gives me a sense of relief. It's okay to be alone, but don't keep everything bottled up because that doesn't do any good. Find other ways to let out your emotions, write stories, write music, draw, paint, play a sport, do something to help you get through this.
                          Being alone is perfectly okay, it's okay to keep to yourself, it's all okay, but don't be afraid to reach out to others when you're ready.