In Love With A Monster (Armin X Annie)

~Chapter One~

"... And at that moment, the coward became the hero." Armin closed the book, he smiled at the cover. It was one of his favourite books, it reminded him of a story his grandfather read to him when he was a small boy. It encouraged Armin to become braver, something he could only dream of.

His gaze turned upwards to the ice-blue crystal, he stood to his feet. Armin hugged the book close to his chest, he smiled brightly at Annie as he tried to keep his composure as happy as he could but he was still deeply hurt. It had been weeks since Annie had chrystallised herself and Armin was beginning to loose hope that she would ever come back. All she seemed to be was a ghost of who she once was,  of who he remembered.

A sigh escaped Armin's lips as he placed a hand on the cold, shining crystal, hoping to feel some sort of connection, some sort of shift. It never came, he was beginning to loose hope that Annie was just a shell with nothing inside anymore.

"When will you return to us?" He hesitated, biting his bottom lip softly. "... To me?" His voice was barely above a whisper, not only so the guards wouldn't hear him but in case Annie was really listening. Regardless of all he has been through, at the end of the day he was still a teenage boy, scared of his feelings.

Armin gripped onto the book as he thought about her, the way she acted, her voice, their conversations. He knew she had done bad things, despicable things but he couldn't shake of the feeling of guilt from himself. He felt like he betrayed her and if he let her, she would have calmed down, they could have talked. Thoughts overwhelmed him, it wasn't the first nor second time he had thought this, it was something he stayed awake thinking of every night. It was something he thought about so often that images of her crept into his dreams. She was a good person, they had known one another for years and she wouldn't have hurt anyone without a cause, Wouldn't she?

Armin left his book in the cell before walking up to his dorm room, he opened the door quietly, tiptoeing through as quietly as he could. He didn't want to wake any of the boys and be demanded answers of "where were you?" "How come you're so late?" After recent events, they had all been on edge, not knowing friend from enemy and who could do just as Annie did.

But even as he cracked the door open, just a small peak, Armin could tell that they had been waiting up for him. The lanterns hadn't been blown out and he noticed the silhouette of a boy near the door.

"Armin." Eren began with a stern voice, his hands grabbing the edge of the slightly opened door and swinging it open. His tone was calm but that was all an act, within a split second Eren could change and be in a fit of rage. That's how he was, that's how he's always been.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it's late!" Armin sighed, having heard this lecture all before. "You don't need to wait for me to return, I can handle myself now." Armin walked into the room, his head hung towards the wooden floors of their dreary room, not making eye contact with any of the boys prying eyes.

Eren viewed Armin as if he was his brother. He cared for him, he worried for his safety and he reprimanded him when he felt it was in danger. Even when Armin insisted he could handle himself and that no one had to wait up for him, Eren would be waiting at the door, like a dog, till Armin got back.

"Where were you?" Erens tone began to edge on aggressive.

"Visiting Annie..." He spoke quietly, his eyes still fixed on the ground to avoid Erens deadly glare.

"Visiting Annie...?" Reiner repeated, loud enough for the whole room to hear. Even Jean opened an eye to witness the unraveling events, even though he had been pretending to sleep for at least half an hour now.

Armin could feel Erens piercing stare on his skull as he waited for Armin to confirm this. His eyes were pleading for Armin to say no, to say that Reiner heard him wrong somehow, say he went for a midnight stroll, talked to section commander Hange, was choosing out a book. Anything other than seeing Annie. But Armin nodded weakly and Eren didn't hold back his frustration any longer. He didn't like Annie one bit since she betrayed them. He couldn't understand what Armin would see in a traitor like her, it was almost revolting.

Eren grabbed Armin by the shoulders, forcing him to look back at him, "You were seeing her... again?" His voice was raised, the girls in the next dorm over could probably hear him at this point. "I'm tired of telling you, she's not what you think she is! This isn't a story Armin, she was a bad person and did bad things. We cleaned the bodies, you saw the carnage, it was real!"

Armin shrugged Erens hands off his shoulders, his face was turned to the side he couldn't witness Eren still glaring daggers into him. "She's not a monster, I've told you plenty of times to not say that." Armin kept his composure, getting angry back at Eren was a loosing battle he'd lost many times.

But Eren was only confirming Armins worst fear. Everything he fantasised she wasn't, that she wasn't a bad person, was false and everyone else could see it.

"Why do you still see her?" Connie spoke up, he detested Armin visiting Annie as much as Eren did but Connie wasn't as vigilant to stop Armin going. He would agree with Eren, he would tell Armin she's a horrible person and remind him what she had done daily.

Armin decided not to answer, a response would only invite more questions and criticisms from every boy in the room. He stayed silent as he got undressed and ready for bed, but the boys kept jabbering relentlessly how he shouldn't still be going there. The guilt began to rise in his chest because as much as he didn't want to admit it, Eren was right. He did see the carnage she left behind that day in Stohess. He cleaned the bodies, the rubble, searched for missing persons and spoke to their mortified families but however much he tried, he couldn't stay away from her.

As Armin continues to listen to the constant questioning and judgement, he stayed silent, he undressed and climbed up the ladder into his bed.

"I don't want you going down there again, Armin..." Eren finally added, he was trying to catch Armins eye from the floor below.

Armin still remained silent, avoiding eye contact with anyone, turning his face towards the wall as he laid in his bed. He knew what everyone thought of her, but he had his own thoughts and his own feelings. No one else seemed to understand at all.

"I mean it Armin..." Eren laid in the bunk below and closed his eyes. The lanterns went out, the room was silent.

"Whatever." Armin sighed below his breath, he then closed his own eyes and dozed off, but his mind was still stuck on Annie. It was always stuck on Annie.