Finding Solace

Of Moats and Manatees

The next four days were awhirlwind of emotions, decisions to be made, well-meaning visitors,casserole dishes, phone calls, flowers, cards....

All he wanted was for itall to stop. He wanted everyone to go away. He didn't deserve allthe love and concern that was being showered on him.

He was suffocating fromthe guilt.

Aaron, he'd noticed, wasdoing surprisingly well. He was taking care of Spencer since Spencerseemed incapable of taking care of himself. He'd make sure thedoctor ate. He made sure he showered, and rested, and got dressed insomething other than pajamas....it gave the older man a purpose; areason to keep going. Otherwise, Aaron would have given up by now. If he didn't have Spencer to take care of, he had nothing else todo.

Rossi helped a great dealwith the funeral arrangements. He insisted on paying foreverything. He also made as many of the decisions as he couldon his own, just disturbing the two grieving men if there wassomething only they could decide.

Garcia baked. Baking washow she dealt with tragedy. It was how she kept busy instead ofbreaking and falling to pieces. There were enough casseroles,cookies, cupcakes, and other treats to last a month.

Morgan tried to getthrough to Reid. He hated seeing his best friend give up. He knewthe genius was battling his own demons, and he also knew the youngerman felt responsible for what happened. He offered to take hisfriend to a 'movie', but Reid had refused to leave the house. He'dlocked himself in the bathroom instead. Morgan kept watch.

JJ did whatever she couldto help ease their day to day burdens. She cleaned and did thelaundry. She cooked, or more specifically reheated, Garcia's manycasseroles. She held them when they needed a moment. She was themother.

Kate was there for supportas well. She hadn't been a part of the team that long, but she feltconnected to them. She also knew all too well the pain of losing aloved one far too soon.

Spencer knew they meantwell, and he realized Aaron needed the support so he dealt with theirhovering as best he could. He locked himself in the bedroom, onlycoming out to eat or when Aaron made him step outside to 'at leastget some fresh air'.

At the time he wantedthose four days to end. He didn't really think about what wouldmark the end of those days; however, when it finally dawned on him hewished he could have them back. Those days were concluded with afuneral.

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It was raining the daythey put Jack down to lay at his mother's side.

The cemetery wasbeautiful.....all greens and bright splashes of color here and therefrom the many floral arrangements that surrounded the small cherrywood casket. A sea of blacks and grays dotted the landscape asguests held up their umbrellas for shelter from the light drizzle.

The sky was all grayclouds.

The heavens were grieving.

2 years ago......

They had just completedthe finishing touches on the sand castle, and Spencer and Jack wereworking on digging a moat around the perimeter.

"Papa, there needsto be water for the moat."

Jack looked up to hisPapa, who in turn looked to Aaron with a smirk. He tossed him abucket and gestured over to the ocean.