Hidden Under Perfection

Chapter 32: Claire

My eyes open and the first thing I notice is the plastic mask over my face, and the rhythmic beeping that is synchronized with my heart. I look at the people at the feet of my bed, Doran is there, as well as my dad and sister. I look around, waiting for Lynn and John to step out of the shadows, or my mom to come in through the door with a glass of water, but that doesn't happen. Then I remember why, my mom is dead, and my brother has been taken by The Clandestine. Tears roll down my cheeks as the details come back to me in a wave of sadness and grief. Doran squeezes my hand and I look back up at him, there is understanding behind his eyes. I steel myself and I nod before I ask, "Where are we?"

"We are at the hospital, you got shot in the leg, and I asked the doctors to take out the tracker. You just came out of surgery a couple hours ago." Doran tells me, and I look around. There is a heart monitor next to the bed, and an IV in my arm. I can assume that I am being pumped with pain relievers because I don't feel any pain. I look up at Doran and ask, "and what about Lynn?"

"She was shot in the arm, she just got out of surgery, she is sleeping." My dad answers. His face is grim and I can tell he is trying to hold back tears. Doran scoots, no rolls, his chair closer to my head and kisses my forehead. He lays his head next to mine and plays with my hair.

"Doran, why are you in a wheelchair?" I ask.

"I broke my ankle," he answers as if it was something that happens often.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he isn't, I can hear it in his voice,but I can also tell that he doesn't want to leave my side, so I nod. I tilt my head so that it is resting against his, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

Just then a nurse with chocolate brown hair walks in and says, "Oh you're awake, I thought I heard voices. I am Nurse Joy, I will call for the doctor and he will talk to you about your choices for recovery." She walks out, her hair bouncing from side to side as she walks. I close my eyes and I can't tell how long it takes for the doctor to come, but it can't be long because Jennifer and dad are still in the same position as before.

A man in dark blue surgical scrubs and a lab coat comes in with a holo-notebook in hand. He walks over to the side of my bed and holds up a penlight and says, "follow the light please," I do as he says and he checks off something on his chart. He holds out his fingers and tells me to squeeze them, I do, and he does the same thing with my toes. My left toes have a harder time getting a grip on his hands and he nods and makes a note. He checks my breathing and then he lifts up the side of the sheet. Cold air rushes in and I shiver. I look down at my leg and I see a bandage covering the whole surface of my thigh. He peels back the bandage and I see a patchwork of stitches. He looks at it and writes something down on his chart. He puts back the bandage and then puts back the sheet.

He steps back and clears his throat before saying, "hello, I am Doctor Evans, I performed your surgery. You had a severe gunshot wound in your thigh, it nicked a major artery and shattered your femur, we were able to reconstruct your bone and get out the bullet with little to no complications, we were able to fix the artery with little nerve damage. Your muscle was severely damaged and we did our best to repair it, but it may never be as strong as it once was. Per your boyfriend's request we opened up your abdomen and we found the tracker that was previously put there. We removed it from your iliac crest, in your hip, it migrated from your abdomen during all of the commotion. We only made a small incision and did it endoscopically."

"Wow, okay, so what is the recovery plan?" I ask.

He looks at me with blue eyes and then looks at his chart again before answering, "I think that we should keep her here for observation for a week and a half. Since she had such an extensive surgery, we want to make sure that there is no infection, clotting or any other complications. After that I think we should continue with physical therapy and three follow up appointments, to see how everything is."

"Okay, thank you Dr. Evans." He nods and signals for a nurse to debrief my family, then leaves. Once everyone is gone it is just Doran, Jen, dad and I. I look around at each of them, Doran is half asleep on my shoulder, My dad has his eyes closed and I can't read his expression. Jennifer is staring at the ground, she flinches when I say her name. I can tell that she is hurting, I say, "Jennifer, come here please."

She walks up to the edge of the bed and sits down on top of the sheet, not touching my leg. I hold out my arms and she lays down next to me, I feel tears drop onto my shoulder. I pull her closer as her breathing becomes ragged and her body begins to shake. I whisper, "it is going to be okay, it may not seem like it right now, but it will be, I promise." Tears now rolling down my cheeks. We lay there, crying together until Jennifer falls asleep. My dad comes over and picks her up and walks out of the room, cradling her in his arms.

Doran is snoring softly on my shoulder and I kiss his eyelids. He jerks awake at the gentle touch and looks around confused, he looks at me and his face softens. I smile and burst out laughing, he is so cute. He straightens and presses his lips to my smile. I kiss him back and my heart starts racing, I hear the heart monitor starts beeping quicker. I kiss him tenderly, and he moans my name against my lips. I growl as he bites my bottom lip. He moves his kisses down my jaw and neck. He reaches the spot below my ear and I moan as he kisses me. His teeth brush my earlobe and I arch against him. He kisses trails up and down my neck before finally claiming my mouth with his. His hand trails down my stomach and onto my leg, setting my body on fire. He puts his hand on my thigh and I cry out.

He pulls back and looks at me with concern, I am panting as pain shoots through my leg. I look frantically down at his hand and he follows my gaze, he yanks his hand away quicker than lightning. He looks at me apologetically before saying, "I am so sorry, I forgot, I am so stupid. I love you, god, I am sorry."

I look at him smiling, my leg not hurting anymore, "it is fine, it doesn't hurt anymore, I love you too."

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault, if I hadn't turned off the generator, you wouldn't have been taken and none of this would have happened." He says, looking down at my lap.

I reach out with my hand and I tip up his chin and I tell him, "this would have happened to someone else eventually, someone just as curious someone with a family, someone with someone who cares for them, and someone else would have noticed. You aren't the reason I was taken, that was Liam. Liam told The Clandestine about me, it wasn't your fault."

"He did that? Now I feel better about killing him."

"Don't say that, while he did terrible things, he betrayed us and he hurt me and my mom, he was still a person. Killing him changed you, if you like it or not." I say.

"You're right, but I don't regret it. He killed your mom, he almost killed you. He was a person, that is true, but I don't know how much humanity he had." Tears start rolling down my cheeks at the mention of mom and Doran reaches up and brushes them away, "there I go again, hurting you."

"It isn't your fault, it is their fault, The Clandestine." When I say the name my sadness immediately turns to hate. "They took my mom, she was gone for five years, and when I found her again, she died. They took me and my brother and you, they hurt us all. They tricked us and they took advantage of us. They did whatever they had to do, not caring about anyone else. They hurt so many people, and they lied to everyone. They took away everyone I have ever loved, most of us made it out, but John is still there. They still have my brother," I croak.

"I know, what are we going to do?"

"We go after them, we get justice for all that theyhave done, we get my brother back and we don't let them go, we fight until TheClandestine is finished and they can never hurt anyone ever again. We let theworld see what is hidden under perfection, we show people the truth, We fightback."