colorless

- 09 -

ㅁ black ㅁ

i hated you myungjun.

i hated you for the longest time.

i hated you for not telling me.

i hated you for promising that you would be okay.

i hated you for breaking that promise.

but i couldn't hate you.

i love you.

but i hated myself for not being better to you.

i hated myself for not being as happy as you.

i hated myself for always making you worry.

i hated myself for a lot of things.

black - associated with power, elegance, formality, death, evil, and mystery. associated with fear and the unknown. usually with negative connotation.

i felt like it was my fault.

i never threw myself into your personal life like every other couple does.

i didn't pressure you to tell me anything.

because i trusted that you would be okay.

no matter what.

when you said you had to go to the doctor, i never asked why or if you needed me to come with you.

i could see the hurt in your eyes.

i remember when you said that you only had three months left.

i was heartbroken.

but at least we still had some time together.

but that time was cut short.

i remember standing outside in the rain.

i couldn't tell the difference between the rain and the tears.

they said that i knew you the best.

if i knew you the best then why didn't i know about the hardest struggle in your life.

i left that day with nothing in my heart but hurt.

i lost everything.

you were my everything.

and without you.

the world lost all color.