My diary

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Dear diary,

I cut yesterday... I wish I was in the hospital. I'm here with two of my friends. I enjoy their company, but I feel safer in the hospital. I want to cut again. It helps me. I want someone to know I cut and them to care. Preferably a guy... A guy to make me feel like he cares. Someone to caress my cuts, kiss my head, hold me in his arms and let me fall asleep on him. Is there anyone like that out there for me? I hope there is. I want someone to care.

I'm watching my two friends talk, he is flirting with her and she doesn't notice but I do. I wish that was me. I want that. I miss that. I used to have that, but for some gosh darn reason the guy always had another girl. I don't understand why I can't just be someone's first choice. Actually, that's a lie I do know... I'm never enough.