About Sophie

Come What May

"My baby... my love... wake up please my love... wake up... love... wake up!"

I heard the despair in her voice, the quiet but painful sound of her begging. It was painful to watch and hear but Sophie just won't open her eyes. Why is she not opening her eyes? Why is she not waking up? All I could do was hold on to Maine and give her all the strength she needed to continue fighting for our daughter.

"Wake up... love... wake up... please you're scaring me... open your eyes my love..."

Her voice became louder and more desperate, that I suddenly felt the urge to turn to her and look into her eyes to tell her that everything was going to be alright. I wanted to touch her face, but I could not take my eyes off of our dear Sophie. It was that moment when everything became quiet. Maine stopped calling her name to wake up. Everyone around us disappeared and it was just us three, sitting on the pavement, wallowing in the sorrow of losing our only daughter. I took Sophie from Maine's arms and held her close to me. There was nothing I could do but bury my face in my little girl's neck and cry out my despair. It was all my fault. I might as well just go with her.

"Love! Please! Please wake up! Love! Open your eyes!"

Maine started screaming again, still begging for our daughter to wake up.

"RJ... love... RJ..."

I felt her small arms around me, shaking me as we both cried over our daughter.

"Love... open your eyes please... I'm here.. Wake up..."

I turned to look at my wife's face and blinked. She had tears streaming down her face, her eyes red and filled with worry.

"Oh my God! Thank God!"

She collapsed on top of me, wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face on my neck.

"Oh my God, Love. You got me so worried! Don't you ever ever do that ever again or I swear I will kill you in your sleep myself!"

She yelled against my neck, even lightly hitting my chest with her small hand while sobbing, until I felt the wetness of her tears. I was so disoriented as I tried to get past the haze of my own nightmare. I looked around and saw that we were in our room, the sunlight seeping through the curtains. It's the morning and my wife was crying herself on my chest, letting out her anger and fear at the same time.

I slowly wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. I opened my mouth to say something but the despair in my wife's sobs felt like she was still crying over losing our Sophie. I tightened my arms around her and repeatedly kissed her hair, her ear, her cheek. She looked up at me and kissed me tenderly. Her lips were so soft and quivering like she'd been crying for a long time.

"Love... what was it? You were having a terrible nightmare and you wouldn't open your eyes! You were wailing or roaring like a wounded animal. It was so painful to see and hear you like that. And you.wouldn't.open.your.freaggin.eyes!!! I hate you for making me worry like that!!! I almost poured water on you!"

With my thumb, I caressed her soft lips and her cheek, and carefully tucked stray strands of hair behind her ear. I couldn't get any word out so I just let her sob uncontrollably on my chest. The nightmare felt so real that I was so scared that this--my wife clinging to me, was the dream. I must have scared her really badly because she could not stop crying.

"Love... I'm sorry for making you worry..." I was able to say, finally. "How long before you were able to wake me?"

I asked while running my fingertips on her bare back, as her cries started to subside.