About Sophie

So This Is What Home Feels Like

The whole ride home was quiet. Sophie fell asleep in her carseat as soon as we drove out of the airport parking structure. RJ insisted on sitting with her in the back while Kuya drove, and I rode shotgun. I watched him from the passenger vanity mirror on the sun visor and I felt my heart bursting with so much joy as he watched our daughter sleep, lightly touching her cheek and kissing her forehead repeatedly. He looked at her with so much admiration, like he had just found the answer to his prayers. I never imagined his reaction would be like this. I had thought he would at least think about it or question it. But I guess aside from the obvious physical features Sophie got from him, he felt the same unbelievable elating connection I felt the very first time I held her in my arms a year ago.

As soon as we parked in front of my apartment building, he took it upon himself to unstrap her from her carseat and carry her inside, careful not to wake her up. It's really an unexplainable feeling for a mother like me to see the father of my child take care of her for the first time. Just this simple gestures of watching her and carrying her were already giving me feelings that's scaring me to face the day when he would surely need to leave us.

I led him inside, straight to my room, so he can lay Sophie down in her crib.

"She's probably going to wake up in a bit. You may stay here and watch her while I prepare dinner, I won't mind." I said, while we both watched our daughter in her crib.

He shifted his gaze to me, then suddenly pulled me to him, and my tears just automatically started to stream down my face again.

"This has been the happiest night of my life, Maine." He started, choking back tears.

"Today I woke up feeling hopeless. I had accepted the idea that you were already happily married. But before I went to the airport, I still went back to the diner to look for you but they didn't know you there as Maine." He continued, while he gently stroked my hair. I closed my eyes and listened to his every word, his heartbeat a background music, while I rested my head on his chest. I could stay like this forever, being held by the man I barely know, but love nonetheless. I took a mental note to explain to him later why nobody knew me as Maine.

"When I bumped into you, and recognized you, I couldn't believe it. You looked different with your crazy hair all up in a messy bun." I slapped his chest teasingly at this remark, remembering our night two years ago, when he said spooning was never gonna work for us because of my crazy Beyonce hair all up on his face.

"Hahaha joke lang." His hearty laugh reverberated through his chest and I could not help but stifle a laugh myself, then he turned serious again.

"But I will always recognize your eyes. It was your eyes that I dreamt of the most. They were my salvation. Even before you fully looked up at me, I knew in my heart that it was you." He finished as I felt his arms go tighter around me.

We just stayed like that for I don't know how long. His cheek rested on the top of my head, our arms wrapped around each other, while we both watched our daughter sleep. I couldn't say anything as my emotions took over. I just shed quiet tears of joy while being held the way I had longed for. I used to only dream of this, of having him hold me while our baby sleeps. Now here in his arms, it feels so much better than I had imagined, because there's no doubt in my mind that he loves our daughter just as much as I do.

A quiet knock, then the door opening made us hesitantly let go of each other. We were both wiping our tears when Kuya Nico peeked through the slightly opened door.

"Ah... Meng, nag-order na lang ako ng Chinese delivery for dinner, if okay lang sa inyo. I'll prepare na rin a bottle for Sophie in case magising sya at wala pa ang delivery. For sure gutom na yang bata. Pare, heto pala yung backpack mo, naiwan mo sa kotse." Kuya said, while standing by the door, holding out RJ's black backpack.